The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 46

Luke's POV

The few moments we were waiting for Mr. Blackbourne stretched out an eternity. She looked anywhere but at me. I was right, she doesn't want me any more.

All I want to do is break the razor I saw in the bathroom and cut. All I want to do is die.

He doesn't knock, just comes straight in. He looks at us both falling apart. My nails are digging into my wrist, attempting to regain control, but I can't. Sang just sits there blankly, not making eye contact.

He sinks down onto the bed with us, kicking off his shoes and pulling his legs up. I know what he is trying to do. He is trying to make us comfortable.

"Why did you call?" I think I've forgotten how to talk. I cautiously grab her wrist and being it over towards Mr. Blackbourne. I point out the circular blisters. "She was burning herself."

He mutters something I can't catch as he finds more burns on her arms. "Sang. Look at me." His voice is edging on pleading. She very slowly turns her head and winces when she makes eye contact.

"Why?" His voice breaks and he speaks so softly I'm left wondering if it is my imagination. Instead of a response, she shrugs. "Dr. Setters said that based off your journal entries you are getting better." She laughs, but it is the dry humorless kind.

"He said he wouldn't read those. Guess we all lie." Mr. Blackbourne has no response and he struggles to get the words out. He runs his finger over her arm, skirting around scars and burns. "How long have you been doing it for?" Anger rushes into her eyes and she snaps her arm back to her side.

"It is none of your business." Never have I seen him look so hurt. Of course he would look like he was run over by a truck because Sang is burning herself, but not one tear shed because I tried to kill myself. Maybe I should try again.

"Please. Sang. Please just answer me." She physically sags as she realizes the effect she had. "I-I'm sorry." She averts her eyes and ends up staring at my wrist.

He puts one finger under her chin and raises it to look at him. "Why did you lie in your journal?" If I can see through his tactics, Sang probably will too. Topic changes don't work.

Her breathing picks up slightly and her eyes dart across the room. She is trying to come up with an answer and falling short. Or maybe she doesn't want to share the answer. He senses she is withdrawing back into herself and backpedals. "It's okay. Can you make me a promise?"

"What is it?" Honestly, I'm wondering too. "Next time, can you please call me. Next time you feel you have to do this, call me, call anyone." She might agree to this, but I doubt she'll keep it. She'll think she is being to much trouble. "Okay."

"Get some rest Sang." I follow him, but when I reach the door her soft voice calls out. "Luke." I turn and look at her. "Stay with me, please."