The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 51

Silas' POV

Cigarettes aren't hard to find in our apartment. I mean, Theo smoked, and he left tons of half used packs, and Dad smokes.

It doesn't even taste good, but it feels good. The taste grows on you.

I wish I could exhale my problems like a puff of smoke, if only it were that easy.

I should have noticed Luke. I should have protected Sang. The guilt weighs on me like sandbags.

As soon as one cigarette is burned through I start the next. The repetitive motion of bring my hand to my mouth is calming. I helps me escape.

I sit on the balcony of the apartment staring at the way the wind blows through the trees. If the wind could blow my stress away like leaves off the trees that would be amazing.

But unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. I'm starting to sympathize with Luke. Maybe he was right about how death has to be better than living like this.

Maybe life is like a cigarette, slowly disappearing.