The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 54

North's POV

"North, will you come work at the diner?" He has been trying to get me to talk for the last twenty minutes. Can't he just give up already. I have.

There isn't a point in me speaking. Nothing I say can change anything.

I'm scared.

I mean, I can't do this anymore. Everyone I'm around I hurt.

I'm more than scared, I'm terrified.

I can't lose anyone else.

I lost Sang. She's back, but not really.

I lost Luke at the same time. He isn't back in the slightest.

I'm panicking. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do.

It's like I'm waiting for something else to happen, I'm always on my toes. But there is nothing I can do.

God dammit! I'm such a fucking failure. There is nothing I can do and all I want to do is to do anything. Anything but wait and sit and let the world move around me.

So I nod, just because I know I need to keep my hands busy. Otherwise I'll be no better than Luke.

Sean's POV

"Sean! Dr. Green," Dr. Roberts calls after me, "I insist you take a break." I shake my head no. I can't stop. The movement of my hands is the only ting that is keeping me even somewhat sane.

"I can not allow you to work thirty hours straight." Oh really? "I've doe it before, I'll do it again. It's in the job description, remember?" I try to keep the conversation light but my humor is forced.

"When was the last time you slept? You are dead on your feet and the nurses are complaining that you are being snappy." I grab a chart off the wall and dart into a patient's room, calling behind me, "It doesn't matter."

He is leaning against the wall as I come back out. "Yes it does. You need to sleep. You need to eat. You are a doctor, I shouldn't have to tell you have to take care of yourself."

"I'm fine." He raises an eyebrow at me, looking me up and down. I see why he would be skeptical. My posture is sagging, there are bags under my eyes. "Sean. Please don't make me report you."

Owen's POV

I grab a bottle at random from the cabinet. Vicodin. Perfect. I down the pill with a swig of water to take the pain away.

I'm a bit dizzy, but I'll be fine. I'm less stressed now than I've been in weeks. I mean, between Sang and Luke and the Academy, life is so very trying.

I need to escape, so i take another pill. I feel myself dozing off and I allow it. I need it now more than ever.