The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 40

Luke's POV

Dr. Green comes in with who I think is Sang's psych. No I refuse to talk to one of those. This is not happening. Why couldn't I just die?

How are you feeling Luke?" asks Dr. Green. I don't bother to respond to that.  My arm hurt, but what hurts the most is my mind. I feel like I'm about to implode. I wouldn't be too opposed to that actually.

"This is Dr. Setters, he wants to talk to you." I don't acknowlege it. I don't even break eye contact with Dr. Greem. I honestly don't care, it isn't like I'm about to respond.

Dr. Green walks out the door, leaving me. Just like I thought he would. Eventually everyone leaves. I just want them to leave of their own accord. Then it won't hurt next time.

I feel bad. I should have distanced myself more before I tried. I see the hurt in their eyes. I never meant to hurt them, only to heal myself.

I register that he is speaking, but by now I am too far lost in my own thoughts to process. I need to protect them from me. If I allow them to be attached, then I am no better than a bomb.

But why would they be attached? I'm useless. Worthless. I should be dead. I should be dead. I should be floating in oblivion or whatever.

There isn't a reason to distance myself. They would get over me. I'm no Sang. Nobody would care. At least not for long.

He gets up and says goodbye. Finally, peace. Maybe I can take out my IV?

I pull it out. Mr. Blackbourne walks in. Great. Just freaking perfect.

He takes one look at my bleeding hand and motions for someone to come in. He and Dr. Green talk at me. I ignore them. I see the frustration building on their faces.

I yank my hand away as Dr. Green tries to put the IV back in. This process continues for a bit before Mr. Blackbourne has a death grip on my arm. It allows for the needle to slide back under my skin, unfortunately.

The talk at me some more. It is hard to focus when your brain just wants to shut down. Can everyone just leave me alone? Please?

I just feel so empty. So numb. So ready to die.