Kiss Me Like You Love Me (Her Bright Skies/ Jaybee Fan Fiction)

Chapter 8

I was sitting on the floor right outside the concert hall, tears making trails down on my cheeks. What am I going to do? I shouldn't have kissed him back, I should have just broken the kiss, I wanted to, but I couldn't.

But I can't deny.. the butterflies filling my guts, I didn't feel that way for a long time, not with Aaron or anybody. I just felt so happy, kissing him felt so right, but my mind was screaming it was wrong.

The sound of footsteps snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Niclas.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

He decided to keep on going after he noticed I won't answer.

"I really don't know what to say... It's tough." he sighed.

"But all I can say is, follow your heart, it will lead you to the right decision, no matter how many people you may hurt you keep the track because maybe, in the end, everybody will be happier." he gave me a half smile.

"And what if they won't?" I asked showing no emotion but sorrow.

He shrugged "Then you will be happier"

"Sometimes, even you should be a little selfish, 'cause if you care about people more than you care about yourself, you will always get hurt" he said standing up.

"You coming? Our show is starting in 20." he held his hand out to me and helped me up.

"And dry your eyes, I hate seeing you cry." he smiled.

We walked together in the backstage and saw the others. They have changed and now were in their stage costumes talking to each other and people I don't know.

My eye caught Jaybee, he was sitting in the corner by himself, staring down at his lap and, grinning like a fool.

They got on stage and performed a few songs as I watched them from backstage. And at last, they played their new song "Love Kills" as Jaybee sang, his eyes caught mine for the whole time.

It's been 2 days after the concert, after our kiss with Jaybee, I haven't talked to them since. I just ignored the texts they sent me or told them that I was busy. I was just sitting on the couch, watching Buffy, then Aaron came in.

"Hey beautiful."

"Hi"

He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder getting me closer to him.

"So whats up?" I asked him, uncomfortable from the position we are in.

He replied me kissing my neck in different spots. I'm really, really getting tired of this crap, he is always begging for sex. I can't even have a normal conversation with him anymore. I kissed him on the lips for once, so that he wouldn't get upset with me, then I stood up and grabbed my jacket,

"Gotta go honey, I promised Grace for a cup of coffee. See you."

I got out of the building walking down the street in the cold December air.

"Rowen?" I heard a familiar voice saying.

Nonononono walk faster, walk faster!

"ROWEN!" I felt his grip on my arm.

DAMN YOU FEET!

"Rowen we have to talk."

"There is nothing to talk Jaybee."I replied quickly, trying to escape my arm from his grip.

"Are you sure about it? I think we have plenty."

"Please let me go" I whined, I don't want to do this anymore.

" No I'm not letting you go before we have our little chat. Please, Rowen? Listen to me for once."

"FINE! Talk to me so we can get this shit done!"

"Not here, how about getting ourselves a cup of coffee then talk?"

We sat down in a little diner near my house, that I didn't know it existed, and Jaybee ordered us coffee.

"What do you wanna talk about" I asked tapping my fingers on the table impatiently.

"You know exactly what I want to talk about"

"Look Jaybee, the kiss we shared was nothing important. It was just a simple truth or dare kiss" I lied easily.

"You think so?  You kissed me like you loved me! I felt it! I felt your love on my lips! It was different. Don't lie to me! Why don't you admit that you love me back, so we can be happy together!" 

"No, Johan, it's not that easy I can't break Aaron's heart just like that, he has been through a lot lately. I won't break up with him."

" Why are you doing this to yourself, you are just making our lives miserable! Please just think for a second."

"He lost his brother two months ago, I can't just dump him like that" I hissed.

"I know how it feels to losing someone you love, I know how it feels to lose your sibling! It feels like losing your half, hanging around without a heart! But you don't know a damn thing! You don't understand!" I said in tears, as I fiercely stood up to leave. The memory of Lacey hurt me more than before.

I thought of the last time I saw her, hanging at the edge of our bunk bed with a tie around her throat. Her lifeless body was swinging, her piercing emerald green eyes were staring right into my own, the light behind them was gone, forever. More tears fell down.

"Rowen! Okay maybe I don't understand how it feels when you lose your sister, which I really am sorry for, but you are making everything harder!" he said and stood up facing me, I just stared into his eyes, I see him as a blur from the tears in my eyes.

"Look into my eyes and say that you don't love me! Then I believe you are telling the truth!" he said, a tear rolled down from his sky blue eyes, making them brighter.

I just stood there looking right into his piercing eyes. I can't lie to him. I love him, but I don't have the guts to say it out loud.

I took a deep shaky breath "I-I can't. But we can't be together either." I said calm but crying. Then I rushed off the diner and left him alone, crying.