Kiss Me Like You Love Me (Her Bright Skies/ Jaybee Fan Fiction)

Chapter 27

Jaybee's POV

 I hugged my folded legs on the small armchair next to Rowen's bed, looked at her sickly pale skin with tears burning down my throat.

For the billionth time these past two weeks I thought of her, the way the light lit up her eyes with her warm smile, the silk like softness of her skin, her joyful giggles. I thought about everything we had. Every time I held her hand, I whispered to her how everything will turn out alright and we'll forget about this as soon as she is awake. But she never believed me and opened her eyes to see how sorry I was.

I let go of my legs and held her hand one more time. "I promise you everything is going to be alright. I love you." I whispered desperately. And then I raised my head to meet her determinedly closed eyes. I felt my head fall back down, with the hopeless feeling burning in my guts.

I leaned to her, my eyes glued to her face. "You'll wake up, I know you will, you're just a little bit tired that's why you slept for this long." I whispered to her as she was listening to me. I pushed her bangs out of her face gently as a small smile played on my lips but disappeared right after. I hesitated before planting a butterfly kiss on her lips. Her lips were cold, like the first time I kissed her.

As the memory strike me I couldn't keep my eyes off of her lips. I placed both of my hands on her sides, gently stroking her cheeks.

The first kiss we had was something totally different for me, it was... I'm not sure how to describe it... it was electric? I've never fallen in love with anyone until the latest second my lips met her cold ones that day. I remember that she was very tense at first but she eased up and let me take the control. Just remembering her touch made me shiver, I missed her, hell I missed her more than anything, I just want to hold her tight and never let go again. I know it's a bit cliché but I don't care I just want to kiss her again, make her happy.

But all of this is my fault.

I shouldn't have let her go, I should have fought for her. If I did she wouldn't be here... Not like this... I know it.

As my mixed emotions took over me I couldn't control my tears. They streamed down my face leaving trails on my cheeks. I couldn't stop, I lost myself. So I did the only thing I do to calm myself, I took Rowen's hand in mine and hold it like the world depended on it, and I sing.

"Slow it down.

Take a breath and close your eyes
Hang on tight and don't look back
Underneath it all we're just the same you and I... 
So don't go telling me you're fine

I'll be the flowers that they place on your casket
I'll be the love that we knew would never last and
I'll be the moon when the last sun is setting
I'll be for you, I'll be for you

Say the words
You're leaving and you won't come back
At least I'm sure it can't get worse
Cuz when the last bit of hope
Has left you cold and alone
I'm just someone you used to know"

My steady sobs didn't let me continue, I just buried my face on her shoulder. "Please wake up Rowen, I am nothing without you."

***

The doors loud crack woke me up and caused me to look up in panic. I looked at Rowen, still no change. I tightened my grip on her hand and looked up to see who it was.

Ava walked in who was being followed by Pete and Niclas.

"Any changes?" Pete asked hopelessly as I shook my head slowly. Niclas was stroking Rowen's cheek. I could read their sadness from their faces easily. If they looked like this, I wonder what do I look like right now.

"Oh baby are you okay?" Ava ran towards me wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

A hysterical laugh left my lips as an answer to her stupid question.

"I'm sorry, I know she meant a lot to you I want to do what ever I can to make you happy." she said with her fake caring voice, tilting her head to side.

"What about shutting your goddamn mouth? That would be a good start." I snapped at her, I didn't even care how rude I was being.

"Easy Johan" I heard Niclas mumbling, I met his eyes when I picked up my head from my gaze on Rowen's hand in mine.

I huffed my hair with annoyance.

"We grabbed you some lunch, and it's not crappy hospital food, so eat." Pete said showing the McDonalds bag he was holding.

"I-I'm not hungry." I mumbled and returned my gaze to Rowen.

"Dude, you have to eat, it's been like what... 3 days since you ate a damn thing! I don't care if I have to put it in your mouth and force you to chew, you'll eat something!"

"I don't want to." I shrugged.

"Johan this is not healthy, Rowen wouldn't want to see you like this." Pete said rising his voice.

I winced with her name leaving his lips. "Leave the bag."

After Niclas kissed Rowen's forehead, they waved goodbye to us and left Ava and me alone with Rowen.

A sigh left Ava's lips as I tightened my hold to Rowen's hand.

"I'm sorry my entrance was annoying I know, just Pete forced me to come here and be with you." Ava said with her now normal deep voice.

I didn't answer her, didn't even tilt my head. After a moment of silence she spoke up after a sigh.

"Wow damn, it's like I'm looking into a mirror!" she said examining Rowen's figures.

"You know I really am sorry for what happened, you must have really loved her, I hope she will wake up." she said with a sigh, sounding serious as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks"

"Okay then the others must have gone by now, my annoying self is leaving the building." she said as she hugged me weakly from my back.

"I hope she'll be alright." she said as she walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier." I called from her back.

"Don't worry." she said as she left the room.

My eyes landed on the McDonalds bag on the end table from the door. I hesitantly reached for it, and opened the bag only taking a french fry, and chewing it slowly. After one bite from the burger I threw the bag back on the end table because I felt like if I eat more I'll throw my insides out. I haven't eaten for days but I don't feel hunger at all.

I again placed my hand on top of Rowen's and started murmuring the same melody for the hundredth time.

It was a lullaby that my grandma sang to me when I was little, she sang to me to calm me down after a storm, I was terrified of the thunder at that age. She always told me everything is going to be alright after singing it. Well that was pretty much everything I remember of her now.

This lullaby always made me feel safe, so I hold on to singing this, it always calms me down.

I looked at Rowen one more time before resting my head next to our locked hands.

And with the sound of the melody fading away I fall into the weirdest dream.

*****

HEY! So the story has reached 6,000 reads? Wow just wow thanks guys! I cried like really happy tears... :D

So I realized something.. Do you remember when Jaybee and Rowen went on their first date and Jaybee told Rowen that he is like her moon and he will be always there for her... Yeah, when I wrote that I seriously hadn't listened I'll Be For You before, like I didn't listened the song at all... And after listening it I realized it's like written for this story*squeals* it's so perfect that it brings tears every time I listen it. 

So yeah...

And the story needs serious editing so I'll just sit down and spend a day or two on that.... 

So thanks for reading and hopefully I'll update in no time because I started writing the next chapter already. ^-^

Okay I'll shut up now...

LOVE YOU ALL! :3