Cold Blooded, Soft Hearted [ EDITING ]

44.

Jamir Reign

"Why we keep waking up all early..." Cellie looked up at me cause she knew I was up.

"Man, Ion know why you asking me cause I don't know." We shared a laugh and she started playing with my ear.

"You wanna smoke?"

"Of course I do." I laughed and turned on the light. I took out my weed, funnel, papers, and rolling tray. I started breaking down the weed.

"I knew you'd wanna do that." She laughed.

"Gimme a kiss." I looked over at her and she kissed me, passionately. I kissed her back. "Thank you, baby girl."

She smiled and looked away. I could tell she had some shit on her mind.

"You good?" I asked as I finished breaking down the gas.

"No," She started. "What made you take me back?"

"Girl, you never went nowhere. We just had a lil break." I shrugged. "We both did some hoe shit and now we back where we supposed to be."

"I just wanted to know..." She drifted off.

"Cellie, what's really on your mind? You've been real emotional lately. You okay?" I started rolling the jay.

"It's nothing serious, boo." She shrugged and turned the other way, moving off my chest. I finished rolling the jay, and set everything aside.

"Why you turning away from me? You mad at me?" I turned her back to face me. "You don't never do that."

"With college and stuff, I haven't really been talking to my mom." She looked at me. "When I got home today after brunch, she told me she was really sick."

"Why ain't you tell me earlier?" I pulled her close to me and she laid her head on my chest.

"I ain't want to, for real. I just wanted to be with you." She pouted. "It felt good having my mind off her and on...other things."

"Fuck then other things. Sex can wait. You feeling emotional like this don't need to wait. What's going on with your mom?"

"Something about her kidneys are failing real bad. She has no idea how but she has to get on dialysis to make them better." Her voice cracked and warm tears dropped onto my chest. "She doesn't want the treatment."

The last thing I want Cellie to be in is the same boat as me. Struggling with no mom is hard as hell. I'm still fighting that shit everyday and every second of the day.

"Why don't she wanna do the treatment?" I rubbed her back.

"She thinks it'll take a negative toll on her life and rather just not suffer the pain. If she goes, I don't know what Ima do, Jamir. All Ima have is my Daddy and he still in the military with no clue of what's going on." She sniffed and wiped her tears. "I'm really not gonna have anybody here for me..."

"Aye, stop. You going through a lot right now but just understand you still gon have me and Kya. I know it's not the same as having a mother but as time goes on, you'll feel better and learn that this is what she wanted. That's how I coped. Don't force her to get on dialysis, Cellie."

"I won't force her but it's hard, Jamir." She let out some more tears. "I just want to be happy and I can't even do that shit."

I love Cellie and don't want her to go through this but dialysis is a difficult treatment and I could see why she doesn't want to go on it. That shit takes a huge toll on your life.

"You can still be happy, baby. Look at me." I lifted her chin up to look at me. I wiped her few tears. "We gon get through this."

"I don't think I can."

"You can. Don't say that." I pulled her on top of me and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you and everything will be okay."

She hugged me tight and kissed my cheek. Cellie might think she has no one, but I mean that shit when she got me. Especially because I know where she coming from and I know how hard this is hitting her.

"I love you too." She mumbled.

Bavana Brown (Boop)

I woke up to Salana crying in her crib. I looked over at Rylo to see he was knocked the fuck out. Of course I gotta get up and see why she crying. I looked over at the clock and it was only 6AM. I rolled out the bed and went to the crib. I picked her up and cradled her.

"Shh, it's okay, Mommy's here." I whispered so I wouldn't wake dumbass up. Her crying started to stop but she looked at me with wide eyes. My baby said fuck going to sleep, I wanna be with my Mommy.

I walked downstairs and turned the TV on, low. I cradled her as we watched Love and Hip Hop. I know it's wrong for my baby to be watching that but she don't know what the hell she looking at.

I heard creaking and turned to see Rylo's ass walking down the steps, sleepily.

"What you down here for?" He said, grumpily.

"Salana started crying and your ass was knocked the hell out. I took her downstairs so we won't disturb you." I looked at Salana to see she was sleeping again.

"Damn, I ain't even hear her crying..." He sat next to me.

"It's cool..." I shrugged.

Lately, I haven't been feeling like myself. I'm trying to figure out ways to lose this baby fat but it's harder than y'all think. I thought I was gonna pop right back to my natural self. I mean, it's ONLY been a week but dang, my stomach does not look cute.

"You look so pretty holding her." He leaned in for a kiss and I backed up.

"Uh uh, baby you got morning breath." I giggled and he sucked his teeth.

"Man, if you love me, you wouldn't give a fuck about my shrek breath." He shook his head and I sucked my teeth. He such a big baby. I leaned in and gave him a peck on his lips.

"Stop being a baby, that's what we got Salana for." I laughed and walked back upstairs to put Salana in her crib. I came back downstairs and Rylo had flipped the channel from Love and Hip Hop to some damn Spongebob.

"Rylo, what the hell you think you doin?"

"Tryna watch my shows." He laid back. I looked around and everything looked a mess.

"You needa get up and start cleaning while she sleep." I flicked on the lights and he shielded his eyes.

"Baby, what you doin?" He looked at me with irritation.

"I'm finna clean. You go head and watch your little cartoons." I rolled my eyes. I didn't mind cleaning by myself for real, I was just fucking with him. But, the house definitely needed to be clean because running after Salana 24/7, whew.