Chapter 33 - Hyun Nam

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"Want to get out of here? Walk around somewhere quiet?" Hyun Nam asked Jeno. She expected him to refuse, being in a bad state at the moment. Jeno didn't say anything, he kept on staring at Hyun Nam which only made her confused.

"I mean, it's okay if you don't want to," Hyun Nam added but Jeno shook his head and stood up from the couch he's been laying on for the last couple of hours.

"I'll wait here," Jaemin said and looked at Jeno before hugging him tightly. Jaemin whispered something in Jeno's here which brought a small loving smile from Jeno before he patted his friend's back and proceeded to walk with Hyun Nam to the elevator. They went out the building's back door where no fans were around and proceeded to walk to the park nearby. It was still working hours for the people living there so Hyun Nam knew it would be empty.

"I saw the video. I know you were just trying to protect someone though, Jaemin told me," Hyun Nam said to Jeno who was still silent. Only his heavy eyes were seen from the mask and cap he was wearing. Without anyone around them, Hyun Nam intertwined her hand with Jeno's who didn't hesitate like they were naturally drawn to each other.

"Do you need anything?" Hyun Nam asked Jeno who was still silent, he brought them to a bench nearby where they both sat under the trees.

"No, just sitting here is nice," Jeno replied and gripped Hyun Nam's hand tighter.

The pair sat there in silence, seeing a child playing with his sister in the snow.

"I feel so embarrassed," Jeno finally sighed putting his other hand in his coat's pocket to warm him up.

Hyun Nam was caught off guard and stumbled to reply.

"Why? You weren't in the wrong here and I know that. I believe that," Hyun Nam said.

"No, it's like I'm in such a bad place in my life and you have to see it. All my members have to see it. I feel so weak and I hate feeling this way," Jeno kicked some snow before Hyun Nam's thumb stroked Jeno's hand to calm him down.

"What's wrong with being vulnerable sometimes? It's totally okay. It's not something you should be embarrassed about. I'm proud that you're showing your feelings, only someone strong can do that," Hyun Nam smiled. She felt like talking to the kids she once babysat for a school project who were asking if boys were allowed to cry.

"I can never do anything within my dad's surroundings. I felt tethered and trapped. I once disobeyed one of his rules and I had to face public punishment in front of the people I will be working for in the next few years as their president. My sisters went through the same things but I know they went through worse," Hyun Nam said, vivid memories cross her mind as she recalled what her sisters told her.

"No, it's different. I have to face all of this when people expect me to be this perfect and nice person when I can sometimes go out of control, too," Jeno replied to Hyun Nam's statement.

"What? I know those are two different situations, but it doesn't mean you can underestimate what I went through. I was just trying to share a story, Jeno. To make you feel better and more... not alone," Hyun Nam said hoping for at least a sorry from him but he stayed quiet.

"Jeno, speak to me," Hyun Nam said but he still kept his mouth shut. Either he didn't want to reply to her or he was too scared to say anything wrong. In a blink, Hyun Nam stood up and walked away before giving Jeno another glance to see if he was going to say anything. She felt like she was making it about her but she already left and she didn't know what to do anymore. All she didn't know was that Jeno whispered a small 'sorry' before she left the park.

She felt bad for leaving him alone when he needed someone the most. She didn't know why her feet still carried her until she arrived at her home. Cold, confused, and disheveled. Hyun Nam felt like an absolute jerk and she knew that Jeno didn't mean what he was saying but she couldn't find a way to reach out to him. Too scared to text or call him, she entered her house with great despair like an anvil tied to her leg.

"Why does my baby sister look so sad?" Eunkyung asked, taking Hyun Nam's coat off and hugged her. Her sister was warm and comfy, she smelled fresh with a hint of a vanilla smell on her hair.

"I needed this," Hyun Nam mumbled into her sister's warm sweater. But as she said that, Hyun Nam knew that Jeno needed a warm and comfy hug more than her.

"I did something wrong and I want to fix it but I don't know how," Hyun Nam pouted, she didn't take another step in her house, contemplating on rushing out to meet Jeno again.

"I don't know what the problem is but I think you should just do what you think is right. I want to ask what happened but then I'll just slow you down and I have a feeling that it's an urgent choice to make," Eunkyung said and stroked Hyun Nam's hair. That was the moment she felt like her mom was still there after such a long time. Of course she felt better when Eunkyung hugged her, it was their mom's warmth and her sweet vanilla smell. Without hesitating, she gave Eunkyung a short hug before running outside the house where Mr. Jungho was sitting on the porch, the car ready.

"Mr. Jungho, I don't know how you knew I need this but thank you. I need to head to the SM building ASAP," Hyun Nam said and rushed into the car. But to her dismay, the snow started falling harshly and the traffic was worst with snow piling up the streets. She didn't know when she'll arrive, but she knew she has to get there before Jeno feels like she doesn't care anymore.

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Author: If you enjoyed the chapter, don't forget to vote! Leave any comments/DMs for feedback, I would very much appreciate them. Thank you once again <3  P.S. we're coming back to the normal posting schedule

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