Shall We? | NCT Lee Jeno ff

Chapter 37 - Hyun Nam

 She was filled with excitement as she arrived in front of the SM building, eager to tell Jeno almost everything. She didn't want to share any kind of news when Jeno was in the middle of a scandal, afraid that it was the wrong time. But now he was free and she glided through the SM halls in search of Jeno. Hyun Nam stopped right in front of the practice room, repeating the words and sentences she would say. She imagined how Jeno would respond. Would he be excited? Happy for her? Will she have to meet Jeno with Ilsung? I think her brother will appreciate having the older brother-interrogation moment, even though he and Jeno are the same age. Her hand reached the door handle but it froze. Laughter was heard from inside. She took a peek through the little glass window, in hopes it was Jeno and not someone else or that would've been an embarrassing moment. There, in the middle of the room was Jeno and Winter. Laughing and rolling on the floor of some joke Hyun Nam didn't hear.

Seeing this made her heart drop. It felt like it was ripped out of her body and thrown to the Mariana Trench where it plunged into the deep, gloomy ocean floor. She tried to become optimistic; Winter was Jeno's friend, Hyun Nam knew they were close, but it still hurt seeing them act like this. She had no right to barge in and shout at Jeno, who was she but a mere executive that was never meant to develop these complicated feelings for this young man. She stared at Winter again. Hyun Nam had never felt insecure, she felt so comfortable with everything she was. She liked herself like this but seeing Winter, she started to dislike herself. Noticing how her legs weren't as long and slim. How her eyes didn't shine when she smiled. Hyun Nam didn't hate Winter for how she looked, she loved Winter. One of the most genuine people she has met. She hated that she allowed herself to feel insecure. She disappeared without saying a word, Jeno only seeing a swift of her hair from the little window.

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"What did you want to tell me? I'm dying to know," Jeno asked through the phone. Hyun Nam could hear that he was asking that with a big smile on his face. But she didn't return the smile, she stood up from the dining table and signaled her sisters that she was going to go outside for a call. They nodded.

"Oh, it was um... actually about..." Hyun Nam thought about the most random thing to say and the first one that came into mind was Tokyo.

"I'm going to Tokyo for a week or two. Leaving tomorrow morning," Hyun Nam said but she didn't say anything about Ilsung. She wasn't feeling like it. Her eyes wandered to the path her car took when it arrived on the rainy night of her mother's death. She had thought of what Jeno was doing before she woke up. Was Jeno the one who carried her? Or was it Mr. Jungho? Deep down she wanted it to have been Jeno.

"Oh wow, okay. I'm going there, too. Hopefully... I'm rejoining the tour during the Japan concerts," Jeno said, his smile slowly fading away as he heard no response from Hyun Nam.

"You okay?" Jeno asked.

"Mhmm, just thinking about tomorrow," Hyun Nam lied.

"Well, okay. I have to go. I'm calling you from the building, I have a meeting in 5. Have a safe flight, bye! I lo-" Jeno stopped himself. Hyun Nam was taken aback by the last unfinished phrase but continued to avoid Jeno feeling embarrassed.

"Good night, Jeno," she said and hung up. As she entered her house and sat at the dining table, she rested her chin on her hands. What could lo mean? I... look? I... lost? I... love?

"Honestly, Hyun Nam," she said to herself and buried her face in her hands thinking about those 4 words. That wouldn't make sense, would it?

"I don't know whose call you picked up just now, but you should eat your food before it's cold, Hyun Nam," Eunkyung said, which made Hyun Nam sit up straight abruptly and eat faster. Before they knew it, she was done and she excused herself from the table.

"What's wrong with her?" Ji Hyeon asked and Eunkyung placed her napkin on the table while shaking her head and following after her little sister silently. The last time Hyun Nam finished her food faster and excused herself, it was because she had her favorite cartoons on. Unfortunately for Hyun Nam, it clashed with her dinner schedule. Eunkyung remembered it vividly when her youngest sister was 4. She smiled to herself on the way to Hyun Nam's room.

Hyun Nam was on her bed, covering herself with her blanket. She giggled continuously at the words Jeno wanted to say earlier. But she didn't want to keep her hopes up. Perfectly on time, her sister brought her back to reality.

"What's going on?" Eunkyung asked, pulling back the blanket to reveal her sister laying on her bed with rosy cheeks. Hyun Nam just smiled and shook her head. Her older sister slid onto the bed and laid down beside her. Their eyes went to Hyun Nam's shining ceilings. It was filled with glow-in-the-dark stars, every sister had them. It was when they were younger than they were sad to not see many stars in the sky, so Ji Hyeon had the idea to buy boxes of plastic stars for their ceilings.

"Is it a guy?" Eunkyung grinned. Hyun Nam didn't answer, she only smiled.

"Hey, I want to join in," Ji Hyeon whined, entering the room before laying beside Eunkyung. Their shoulders were touching and hunched because Hyun Nam's bed couldn't fit all three of them, but they managed.

"What are we doing?" Ji Hyeon asked, but nobody answered. Every single sister was thinking of the same thing. Their parents. Mother who's gone. Father who was going to be brought down from the power he illegally has. They shared a moment of silence. A moment where guilt started rising in them, looking back at all the things Father had done for their sake.

"Why don't we just leave?" Hyun Nam suggested. Her sisters' mouths were still shut. An option they always thought of but never decided on. The idea raced through their minds as they imagined what would happen if they did just run away. Living in a small house, not much but enough for the three of them. Eunkyung would take on a job at a nearby warehouse where she would manage storage. Ji Hyeon would work at a bakery or restaurant, finally living her cooking dream. Hyun Nam would become a teacher at a small kindergarten where we are greeted by smiling innocent faces every day. But it was too late. They didn't want to betray their only brother. They knew what Father did to Ilsung and that was totally unacceptable. In a few hours, they were to set off to the start of their father's doom.

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