Saved by a loving heart.

Pt21 : Hopefully

⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠

Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts.

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Y/n POV

This Wil guy is starting to seem really nice, we didn't get mad when I couldn't keep my food down, I've been here for a while and he has been nothing but nice, almost too nice, but I guess I should take what I've been given.

Why are you trusting this man, sure he is being nice for now, but so have some of 'homes' and you have always been sent back, so you can't trust him because he is 'nice'. That is bullshit, and you should know better then trusting someone, because then you will get attached and think about the last person you got attached to huh?

That wasn't my fault, I was doing as I was told. I am not my father therefore it was not me. I was only a kid and I couldn't have done anything even if I was there.

Why are you arguing with me? I am the only one that will never leave you, I've been there from that day you killed her, I'm the only reason your alive.

Exactly, but I don't want to be alive, I'm just a slave of this world. I have no purpose in this world, everywhere I go I cause pain, so if you wouldn't mind giving me a god damn second so I can think without you being here.

Fuck you.

If you say so.

Silence.

"Y/n wake up," I feel a soft tap on my shoulder as I open my eyes.

If I was honest, I had been awake for a little while already, but I actually felt safe. I was layered in blankets and laying on presumably what I think is the sofa.

"Good Morning," I say sitting up.

"Morning, well afternoon. You've been asleep for ages so I thought, I would wake you up so your not up all night.," Wil says with a soothing voice.

"Thank you."

"I thought that you might want to go have a little walk, you haven't left the house in a while, so some fresh air can't hurt," Wil said sitting down next to where I was sitting.

"Okay. Can I have a shower before we head out," I say remembering that I must smell terrible considering I can't even remember the last time I showered.

"Can I ask you one question before you do," Wil says. I do my usual and nod. "Was that the  only blade you had, or do I need to take another one so you can shower safely and so I know you are safe."

I do have another blade. I have a few, but I'm not going to give them both up, I forgot that I had them until he just mentioned it. I had stashed it in my jeans pocket the day I left the previous house and I have another one I found here.

I may as well get it, it isn't to hard to get another one so I decide that I will get it, but 

I just silently get up and go get one. I just stand up and walk into my room. I had wedged one into the spine of notebook.

Wil seemed to have a confused look on his face but followed me anyway.

"There," I say handing Wil the razor blade.

Wil put his arms up to hug me, but in instinctively flinch, so he stops and puts his arms back down to his side but before he could I hugged him back. I think it took him by surprise by the jolt in his body as I wrapped my arms around his waist but he was soon to join in the hug.

"I'm so proud of you Y/n, I couldn't have asked for a better person to adopt. I know what you have done is hard, but you are not alone, and you will never be alone again," Wil whispered in my ear before leaving the room letting me collect my items and go shower.

Wilbur POV

"Hey Wil, can I talk to you really quickly?" Phil said as I walk into the kitchen.

"I'm all ears," I say as I grab a bag of crisps and sitting on the bend as Phil makes actual food.

"I have to head back home tomorrow at the latest, but I can come back if you need me to. I just need to sort something out before Kristen comes back home."

"Oh yeah, defiantly, you can leave as soon as you need to. I can't thank you enough for what you have done for Y/n and myself. You are a literal life saver mate. Thank you so much."

"Speaking of Y/n, where is she?" Phil asks filling two two bowl of chicken noodles and handing one to me.

"Oh she is having a quick shower before we head out and go for a walk around the block," as I say that I can see Phils facial expression change.

"Do you want me to stay encase um it happens again?"

"It's okay. I have three of her blades now, and I think that is all because there is nowhere else she could of hidden one. She have me two, and I found one the day that it happened before when I got Barnibee for her. I don't think that she knows I have that one yet," I felt fairly confident that she couldn't have any other sharp objects just because I was sure to get any sharp object out of her bathroom before she came home, and she had no other things with her when she came.

"Your going to make a great dad you know."

"Hopefully."

Y/n POV

As I was showering I noticed that the cuts on my side where a whole lot deeper then I thought. The sting of the hot water running into and stinging the fresh wounds.

Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said to you. 

You are right, I need you. Can you forgive me please. I can't lose you.

As you said you are my only real friend and the only person I can rely on.

Please come back. Soon.

Hopefully.

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Hello, I just want to tell you that you are loved so FUCKING much okay, you should never forget that.

You are amazing and the best you can be so I'm really glad you are you.

Remember that your body isn't paper, so don't cut it,

Remember your face isn't a mask, so don't hide it,

Remember that your size isn't a book, so don't judge it,

And most of all, your life isn't a film, so don't end it

You are beautiful just the way you are, don't ever change from who you are for others <3

I am so FUCKING proud of you, everyone reading this. You are doing great, you may not be feeling 100%, but you are giving 100% of what you do have.

I just want to say thank you. You guys, girls and anything in between are absolutly amazing and I love you.

I hope all of you are having a good day/night/ whatever time it is where you are.

Make sure you eat, drink some water, take your meds (if not already) and get some good sleep.

You are AMAZING and never forget that.

Stay safe and remember that you are loved. ❤❤❤