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"why did they write it about me?" i sobbed into Manon's lap. i was finally letting my emotions flow out of me. "i am kind, i am polite, i do everything for everyone all of the time yet i am still a bad person? how dare they bring up Charles! how dare they say his name in such a negative piece of writing! they know nothing Manon, they know nothing," my whole heart felt like it was being turned inside out. "it's okay Bee, they know nothing. they don't know you, obviously," she said while stroking the back of my head. "i-i-i, i hate him, i hate him so much, how could he? how could Teddy do that to me," i stuttered the words out.
"i thought he loved me, i thought he'd always love me Manon. he said he would. he lied, he lied to me. he never loved me, he just used me until she came back, he loves her. it's in my face. he loves Louise. i am sick to death of being a person to play with while he just waits for the next girl to return! i am breaking piece by piece and he does not care about me, not one bit, while i would put my life on the line to even see him smile," i could barely breath due to my sobs, they forced themselves from my throat.
"just ignore him Bee, we are done with him," she whispered, she was angry, i had never seen her so hostile. "no one hurts you, no one" she whispered again. "he is going to wish he never met us, we will dig down to the depths of that article and find the writer, we will find out everything. we will show him every little thing he has lost," she was how whispering through gritted teeth.
"right, ladies, we do not have time to wallow. we need to show this town, we need to make sure that everyone knows never to even think bad of our Blair ever again!" Nikki said strolling into the room. "i don't want to do anything Nikki, i just want to wallow in my pit of sadness while Manon strokes my hair," i turned to look up the girl who had been comforting me, her soft smile was one that brightened up even the most sorrowful of days. "right, that's it, you move or we move you," Tessa said storming into the room, i jumped at her surge of energy that she brought as she entered. "it is nearly 4 o'clock meaning that Alfred will be here soon, ever sooner if he's a keen guest who likes to be early, which i expect of him. the staff have prepared despite only Nikki's help," Tessa rambled. this was more for her own use. she likes to list, if it wasn't in her note book it was out loud, she liked to tell herself that it was for us yet we knew that it wasn't. "brown or white? hello Blair?" Tessa waved in front of my face as i sat up slowly.
"i have just been asking you if you'd like brown or white bread for about 5 minutes," she continued, i just looked at her with wide eyes. i was being pathetic, i was wallowing on something that could not be changed. she seemed to notice how out of it i was and sat beside me. she rested her head on my shoulders. "i am sorry Blair, i am just trying to get you back, we all don't want to lose you again like we did when Charles passed," she whispered. i took a long breath in. i rested my head on hers. "i won't let you down, you won't lose me again," i hummed, she lifted her head and looked at me proudly. "brown," i whispered. she furrowed her brows in confusion. "i would like brown bread, come on Tess get with it," i laughed, she rolled her eyes and pulled me up. "let's get you changed," she said pulling me to my chests. "oh Blair you have to wear something to make everyone stare," Manon said following with Nikki by her side.
