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"oh my lord Laurie if you don't put me down on this instant i will get you so hard," i shouted as Teddy held me over his shoulder and ran around the garden. "what?" he said and instantly put me down. "thank you," i said patting down my dress but he stood in front of me with sad eyes and a pout. i tilted my head in confusion. "you didn't call me Teddy," he said in a sad voice. i shook my head with a smile and pulled him into a hug. "don't be such a baby," i said holding him tight.
"i could cry right now," Nikki said walking into the garden not noting that Teddy and i were still in embrace. she then looks up and blushed, the others following closely behind. i walked away and we all sat on the circle of benches near the roses in the corner of our garden. "tell me Nikki, why could you cry?" i chuckled. "Meg's got bloody you and Jo to be the maids of honour. Tessa and i are bridesmaids along with Amy and Beth, and Manon is the flower girl," she said, i gasped. "well, i did want to tell you but i guess it's out there now," Meg chuckled to me. i smiled. "so why are we crying?" i said to Nikki. "it's not bad crying silly, i'm so happy, i've never ever been a bridesmaid before," she said adding a squeal at the end.
Enzo, Manon, and Tessa got to the last minute plans for Megs wedding with her while Beth, Teddy, Amy, Nikki, and i lounged in the August sun. "how are you all just sitting there?" Tessa said while writing countless lists of things needed. "it's too warm to work," i said fanning myself. "lazy," Enzo laughed at me, i stuck my tongue out at him mockingly making him chuckle which made Manon smile immediately. "Jo, care to be my date to Meg's wedding?" Tessa smiled holding her hand out for her, "i thought you were never going to ask," she smiled taking her hand as the two walked over to the blossom tree. i watched them adoringly as Tessa rested her head on the others shoulder. i'd like to have that some day.
"Amy, can we talk?" Nikki said, Amy nodded nervously, the two walked back into the home in the comfort of the library. i knew Nikki wanted to ask some questions about feelings, what to do next, etc. i'm glad she finally brought up the courage. Manon and Enzo went over to the small tree swing at the far end on the garden and he pushed her lightly as she read him some poetry from a book that resided in the library.
"i must be off, i will see you later Blair," Meg said gathering her notes for the wedding, Beth decided to help her and leave also. "goodbye, have a nice night," i smiled at the two. i noticed that i was now alone in the far corner of the garden, Teddy was no where i'm sight. i must admit seeing all the love around me made me miss him. maybe that was it, maybe i was only convincing myself i loved him because i was deprived of the feeling that surrounded me. it seemed my friends had came here and found their soulmates yet i've been here for double the time and not found anything, well i found Teddy but i am unsure of what that even is.
"lost in your thoughts?" i heard from behind me, i turned to see Laurie holding two pink lemonades, my favourite. "you're just the sweetest chap aren't you Theodore Laurence," i smiled. "who said they are for you?" he winked giving me the drink. i couldn't wipe my smile from my face. "as much as i love hearing you call me Teddy, i do find it quite appealing to hear you call me my full name however if someone else said it i think i might just be repulsed," he chuckled. i leaned my head on to the boys shoulder without even noticing, i guess it was becoming my habit. "Teddy, do you think it would be silly of me to have feelings for someone i barely know, well i know them actually i feel like i know every little thing about them, yet i've not known them for a long time. especially when i know there would be major problems if it were to ever happen. as well as that i am not sure what i even feel-" he just me off by slowly placing his finger to my lips. "i think if you have feelings for someone it does not matter the time you know them or the problems you may face. all that matters is that the love is real and he.. or she, treats you like the princess you deserve to be treated like," he said stumbling at the pronoun, he learnt that from Tessa. i nodded. "who's the lucky person?" he said smiling. he really didn't know did he, he was completely oblivious. "i will leave that to you," i said, Jo said that to me months ago on the beach, i think i finally know what she meant.
"will this mystery person be accompanying you to Meg'a wedding?" he said nervously. i shrugged. "they haven't asked me," i said. he nodded. "well since they are missing the opportunity completely would you mind if i accompanied you?" he smiled. i nodded with a bright grin. "i would love it," i said, he huffed some air and smile. "thank god," he whispered under his breath obviously not intending for me to hear. little did he know that now this mystery person was taking me.
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"so you're telling me that we have to wear matching dresses?" Tessa said to Nikki, their styles almost being the complete opposite. "and Amy and Beth," Nikki added with a smile. now, the dressing the same wasn't the matter that Tessa was talking about; it was the colour. she hadn't worn a light dress since she found her iconic bronze style. "this is going to be a change," she chuckled looking at the pastel pink dress in front of her. "well the weddings tomorrow so unfortunately for you, no backing out," i smiled. she rolled her eyes with a playful grin. Manon was over the moon with her dress being just the shade of green she adored, she got lucky. "you know what i'm most excited about, the flowers, i can just feel the beauty in my soul," she said spinning around the room playfully. "guys. i think we need to talk," i said sitting down, my tone serious. "two days, you guys have to leave i'm two days," i said my voice quiet and full of air.
"i don't know if i can leave," Nikki said. "Amy and i just arranged our plans for the future. we want to go to Paris and like on the outskirts in a small cottage and adopt a young girl and dress her up. this isn't fair. i won't stand for it. my happiness can't just be stripped from me like this," she said running her hands through her hair all while we sat in dwelling in sadness thoughts racing through our minds. Nikki was not the joking, sarcastic, lively girl she always was at this moment. it was almost like losing Amy would make her lose a part of herself.
"i don't want to leave," Manon's voice cracked. "i love him. i love him more than anything in the world guys. i can't leave him. i won't do it. i have found my other half, my soul mate, my twin flame, he is me and i am him. i can't love again. i can only love him," she said small tears streaming down her face. i wish i could express my emotions like her but all i felt was an empty sadness. i pulled her into my arms and held her tightly. "it's okay Manon, it will all be okay. just think about the flowers, the beautiful flowers," i said my voice breaking. i loved this girl with my whole heart. she was always so happy. she never broke like this. it really did hurt.
"i don't think i will ever feel love again. i don't understand. why did i do this knowing that i'd have to go back? i have never loved another like i love Jo. my heart is no longer my own but it's Josephine March's heart that just lives in me. without her i will be an empty vessel. i love her. i really love her," Tessa said, she had a straight face yet from her eyes a single tear slowly trickled down her left cheek. i knew that she felt that she had to keep herself composed for us, she was the big sister of our group, she wanted to show us to be strong but she just couldn't. "i love you Tess, we all love you. i love all of you. it's okay to be sad," i said to the group. they all nodded.
i sat. this was when i realised. i love Teddy. with my whole heart. "i love him," i whispered. they all looked at me with wide eyes. "i really really love him, with my full heart. i think i always have. since the day he walked into this room on my first day here i loved him. i kept pretending i didn't but i know i do, it hurts so much because i know i wasted all of this time when i could have had what you guys did. i ruined my only chance of love," i said in tears. this was when we all fully broke down. we huddled together and sobbed quietly. "i don't want to leave," we all said in unison. this was the only moment we looked up and slightly smiled with tear stained faces.
we had all sat in silence and calmed ourselves down. the girls decided to leave soon after and rest for the big day that followed. i wished them well and settled back onto my bed. i slowly got out of my bed and walked from my room. i made my way along the halls and entered the large door. "hello mon bourdon, are you okay?" he smiled closing his book and placing it on his bed side table. he sat up and patted a place for me. i gladly joined him. my new realisation of my feelings kind of made me feel more nervous around him at first but i soon settled into his chest. "i'm fine," i said finally answer his question. "that's good, you just came to see me because i'm special then?" he smiled. i nodded and hummed my answer. "you're rather special too," he replied. i held him tightly, i admired his face and played with his soft hair. "you seem... different," he said with a smile. i nodded. "i don't know, i think i'm just excited for tomorrow," i smiled completely lying to him. he nodded with the same cheesy grin. "have you decided if you are leaving yet?" he said, his voice going quiet. i shrugged. "i don't know yet Teddy," i said in whisper. he nodded. "i'll be happy as long as you are," he said. i smiled. i wanted to say it, i wanted to tell him i loved him, but it would make it all so much harder. so i left it. i wish i could tell him just how much he means to me. he has my heart.
