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"you don't have to worry, he is safe with Marmee," Teddy said as we walked to the meadow. it had now been almost 9 days since the doctor saw Charles first. he was weaker, sadder, he wasn't himself. "i'm scared Teddy," i said sitting down. "it must be hard, i could not imagine the pain you both are feeling right now," he said rubbing my back. i needed to come clean. i was hurting.
"Teddy, i am feeling endless guilt. when i saw you, here, and we spoke. i felt it again. i felt everything. i love Charles, i really do but my feelings for you just haven't gone and now he's dying and all i can feel is endless guilt. he deserves so much more," i sobbed. Teddy shook his head, "Blair, oh sweet Blair. there are some things that we just can't stop and you should not feel guilty at all. as you said, you love him, that's all that matters. forget me for now, go love Charles with everything possible," he smiled. "Teddy, you really are a sweet boy," i smiled placing a kiss on his cheek and standing up. "i'm gong to check on Charles, are you coming?" i said, the boy nodded and began to walk along side me.
just as we got to the gate i saw Marmee rushing out. "Blair quick, the doctors here, he's got worse," Marmee said. my face dropped. i ran past everyone and pushed to his side. "Blair, is that you?" he said trying his hardest to smile. "i'm here Charles, i'm here," i whispered stroking his hair. "it's getting hard to breath Blair," he said. Tears were streaming down my face but i couldn't let it out. i needed to be strong for him. "i'm sorry for leaving. i should have stayed," i said, he shook his head lightly. "no, princess, i am fine, i promise," he croaked out before coughing loudly. "he doesn't have long left," the Doctor said. i looked at the boy laid before me. i couldn't understand why my boy had to be the one, why couldn't it have been someone else, why wasn't it me? "i love you Charles, i love you so much," i said, he finally was able to form a smile. "i love you more than you'll ever understand Blair, i always will," he said quietly. i placed a soft kiss on his lips. "promise me one thing Blair?" he said, i nodded, "anything," i replied. "promise me you will find love again. promise me that no matter what you won't give up. promise me you will find someone who loves you like i love you," he said now with a single tear falling from his eye. this was the first time he had showed any pain. "promise me Blair, please," he said. "i promise," i said in a whisper. "i love you princess," he said. "i love you Charlie," i whispered. he closed his eyes and held onto my hand tightly. "Charles?" i said. "Charles?" i said louder. he wasn't reply. it couldn't be. "Charles please!" i shouted. it was really over. he was gone. i sobbed beside him. "my Charlie," i said in sobs as i sat beside him. i was distraught. "why? why him?" i sobbed. "come on Blair, we can't stay here forever," Tessa said with tears streaming from her eyes. "i don't want to leave him, i was meant to be with him forever, this isn't fair," i sobbed onto her shoulder. she took my hand as we moved to the living room. the doctor had brought the coroner and they were taking Charles away. i sobbed watching them carry his lifeless body under that haunting white sheet.
we all sat in silence for an hour. every single one of us in deep thought. "i'll never get to taste his pancakes again," i said as a tear fell from my eye. "he will never be able to lift me to get the best apples from the top of the tree again," Manon said with a sob. "i'll never get to hear him laugh at my fantasy invention ideas again," Jo sniffled. "he'll never tell me to get out of my head again," Nikki sobbed. "he was family," Jo said with a croaky voice. "he will always be family," Teddy said as a single tear trickled down his cheek.
i took the pill from his arm chair and held it close to my chest. just as i lifted it i saw a letter fall.
'to my beautiful girls, and my dear friend Laurie'
i looked at it with pain. everyone stared. "read it?" Manon said, i nodded.
'Dear Girls, and Laurie,
I am sure that by the time you find this letter that I have passed on. It is a scary thought, yet know I know there is nothing to be done. You have all given me the greatest life possible. There is nothing more I could have ever wished for, I truly lived a perfect life, one that you all made possible. I can't possibly begin to thank you all for everything, it would take a life time.
Manon, my sweet ball of sunshine. You truly made this world light when no one else could. Your happiness made my days a million times the more enjoyable. No matter what I hope you know that you are worth this world and more. I wish for you an Enzo to live your fairytale dream for the rest of your time. I know you will never fail to impress me, I hope that you never lose that smile. I love you sunshine.
Tessa, what could i even begin with about you. You have been my sister since the day you were born. Not only did I see you grow into the smart, kind, and beautiful women today, I also got to see you help not only myself but also the others grow too. You pushed us all to our best possible limits even when we thought it was impossible. I know you will do something great. I love you petal.
Nikki, my chuckle buddy. Your jokes have kept me smiling for all the years I have known you. Not only have you been there in some of the best moments of my life, but you have also brought me out of some of the worst. Your heart holds so much love it wows me. I couldn't imagine a life without your sarcastic comments, or your cookies. I hope you know that you have always made me proud, and still continue to. I love you papillon.
Theodore Laurence, my brother. We have had our differences, yet I have never failed to be impressed by you. The amount of love you hold for my girls makes my heart warm, I couldn't have wished for a better man to have cared for them and to care for them in my absence. Your heart is as pure as gold and I wish you the best. Please look after my girls, and keep your promise. I love you Brother.
Blair, my one and only girl. As I am writing this I can hear your beautiful voice singing away from the kitchen. You are the embodiment of true perfection. I have always loved you and truly believe that I am the luckiest man to have ever lived. I can not express my gratitude for you, you have made me feel loved again, you made me feel special, you made me realise that I am a man worth the love I receive. The past two years with you have been the best two years in my life and I will never forget them. I wish it could have been longer, I was ready to spend eternity with you. I want you to find love again, I want you to feel happy, to make memories, to live your life. You are young my princess, don't waste these golden years. You amaze me, you always have. I would have loved to just have had a little longer with you, I would have loved to see you in a white dress upon the isle, I was ready for it. I was ready to spend forever with you, however I guess my forever was cut short. Don't waste your forever Blair. I love you, I love you ever so much, my darling. my girl. my princess.
Thank you, thank you all, love always, Charlie <3
tears were flooding from my eyes. he was really gone. my Charlie was really gone.
"Blair, it's okay, we will be okay," Teddy said placing an arm around me. "we will be okay," he said again with a sob. "for Charles, we will be okay for Charles," he said now with more tears streaming down his face. Teddy and i sat there sobbing into each others arms. we will be okay for him, for my Charlie.
