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i woke up bright and early. i felt so light, almost weightless, everything i had been carrying since Charles' death was finally lifting. i got up and put a robe on before walking out to the balcony, my eyes searched the sky aimlessly. the clouds danced in front of me. "what do you think is out there?" i heard from behind, i turned to see a tired yet smiling Laurie. "everything and nothing," i said, he smiled, "elaborate," he said resting his head on his arm upon the balcony edge. "the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart, however how will you ever find that if you don't go out there and search," i said, he smiled and nodded. "is there anything you don't know," he smiled, "i know nothing Theodore," i replied.
he stepped behind me and rested his chin on top of my head, "Blair?", i turned to face him and smile, alike last night we were only inches apart, "yes?" i replied. his lips curled to a smile, "i'm proud of you," he said pulling me into a hug. "so proud," he added in a whisper. "thank you Teddy," i said holding him tight. it had been too long since i'd had a real hug, it warmed me. "what do you want to do Laurie?" i asked, he tilted his head in confusion, "breakfast?" he asked but with a laugh i shook my head. "i mean after this, we can not say here all of our lives." he looked at me with a puzzled face, "how abouts we get a cat, or a dog? maybe even a monkey," he chuckled, "i think i want to go back to Italy, i loved it there," i said walking back into my room, him following closely behind. "i think Germany is the place for me," he replied with a faint smile.
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"you are all so slow," i shouted running ahead. Niki, Manon, Tessa, Enzo, Amy, Jo, Teddy and i decided to go out for a picnic. "just you wait," Teddy shouted running towards me making the group laugh. he hooked his arms around my waist and spun me. once he had placed me back on the group i was speechless. i just looked at his perfect features and lost my thoughts, "is there something on my face?" he joked, "no," i said then turning to place the blanket on the floor awkwardly.
as everyone set things up i just watched them all. i was so lucky to have such a great group of friends. i was completely lost in the moment watching them set up with great smiles on their faces, i did take them for granted sometimes. i really did feel like my life was a movie. i loved them all with my full heart.
we had been playing some games and having fun like the old times we used to have. the sun was beginning to set as we all watched in peace. Manon and Enzo held each other close, Jo braided Tessa's hair, and Amy and Nikki just held each other hands tight with soft smiles. that's when my eyes feel to the sweetest boy, oh Theodore Laurence, he was really testing my heart at this moment. he laid down on his stomach. half of his head buried in the picnic blanket, he smiled at me, and then i realised there is so much more to life than just surviving it. he placed his hand on top of mine and turned his eyes back to the sun. the pink hues of the clouds made the moment all the better. i had everything i would ever need right here. my family.
from behind i heard a shout. Mr Laurence. Teddy and i shot up and ran to embrace him. "you must have missed me," he chuckled as we held him tight. i believe that Laurie and i were both thinking the same thing in this moment. this man was the greatest to have ever existed and he was the father both of us needed. we took his hand at either side and he walked alongside us to watch the ending of the sun set. we rested our heads on his shoulders and smile. "i love you," i whispered to him, "me too," Teddy said. "i'll love you both till i take my last breath," he said with a sweet smile.
the pink hues soon turned to a dark sky filled with stars. everyone had gone home but Teddy and i. we had been here sat in silence just watching as the stars twinkled above us. "you love it dont you," he whispered, i looked at him with confusion, "the sky, i see the way you watch it, it makes you happy," he said, i smiled faintly. "i do," i said now looking to him. "i can only imagine the love with would hold for someone if you watched them a like you watch the sky," he said with a smile, i nodded, yet i knew exactly who i watched like that, it had always been them.
"do you think you'll ever marry?" i asked him, he shrugged. "i think that marriage means nothing, it's the love that really matters," he said, i nodded, "do you think you'll ever be in love again?" i then asked, he smiled faintly. "what's the point of loving anyone if that person isn't you," he said quietly, i almost didn't hear him, "oh Teddy," i said resting my head and watching the moon. "why does it have to be so complicated?" i asked, he only let out a low breath with a sad smile. "when you least expect it, nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot," he said. i nodded. his hands played softly with my hair. "why me Teddy? you could have any women on this very planet yet you chose me," i said now looking to his eyes. "i've never had a moment's doubt that i love you. i believe in you completely. you are my dearest one. my reason for life," he didn't look to me as he spoke. i saw his eyes glaze. "Theodore Laurence, sometimes i feel like we're a knot, too tangled to be taken apart," i smiled now sitting.
"it's getting late again," he whispered. i nodded. we both stood upon the hill, the moon watching. "i worry sometimes," he said placing a hand onto my shoulder. "why?" i whispered watching his eyes scan the sky. "that ill lose you again," he said pulling me into a hug. it was so innocent, so real, i could feel myself getting lost in him. it had always been him, Theodore Laurence, my sweet boy. i think in that moment it all came to me. it had all been for him, it would always be for him, that curly haired boy.
we walked back to the house hand in hand. just before the door he stopped. "i may say i worry about losing you again, but what i worry for the most is that you'll lose yourself again," he said. i smiled at him. "as long as i have you, i am complete," i whispered. he blushed lightly. "thank you bumble bee," he said, i furrowed my brows in confusion, "for giving me what i'd always dreamed of, my own princess," he whispered.
