Marvel Fics

Daddy Issues // B.B.

Warnings: underage drinking, body issues, mentions of overdosing, daddy issues.
Summary: Bucky talks to you about Tony. Platonic!reader.
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Take you like a drug                                 I taste you on my tongue.

The taste of fruit filled your mouth as you took a sip of the wine. No one seemed to notice you as they all spoke of fond memories with Tony.

You ask me what I'm thinking about                                                           I tell you that I'm thinking about    Whatever you're thinking about.

You see Bucky take a seat beside you. "How old are you?" he asks. "Why? Wanna ask me out?" you tease, with a fake smile. "No, now how old are you?" he said.

"Seventeen" you answer. Leaning closer to you, he takes your drink, saying "well, I'll be taking this then."

Tell me something that I'll forget      And you might have to tell me again                                                       It's crazy what you'll do for a friend.

The world seems to carry on without you as you watch everyone talk happily together. "How you feeling?" Bucky asks.

"I've lost my mind, haven't I?" you say, not paying attention anymore as you feel yourself begin crying. "People react differently to death" he said.

Go ahead and cry, little girl                  Nobody does it like you do                    I know how much it matters to you  I know that you got daddy issues.

You don't try to hide the tears but instead smile distantly. "But what if he died thinking that I hate him, what then?" you say, hating yourself for how you acted.

"Well, then you fucked up and so did he for making you feel like you hate him in the first place" he said, plainly as you turn to him.

And if you were my little girl            I'd do whatever I could do                    I'd run away and hide with you.

James knew that you had issues with your dad from what he'd been told by others. You grew up with your mother until you were seven and she overdosed.

You'd spent years trying to get his attention but Tony never seemed to care that much. When Morgan was born, you were jealous of his new family as you never got any of that but you never said anything and instead just acted like you were fine.

I love that she's got daddy issues,      and I do too.

"I understand, I basically grew up with Steve and saw how his dad was to Mrs Rogers and him" Bucky said, sympathetically. He knew mental and physical abuse were different but they seemed to effect you and Steve the same way.

You stayed silent. "He died when we were teenagers but then a couple of years later Sarah passed away. Her last wish to me was to look after Steve" he continued.

I tried to write your name in the rain                                                              But the rain never came                   So I made with the sun.

"When I was younger my mum told me stories of her youth before she met Tony and before she had me" you say, "she was absorbed in the past".

"Then after her death, I was sent to Tony but even at seven, I could tell that to him; I was a task" you finish, frowning at the memories. "People said that I was lucky to be a Stark but I never understood."

The shade                                                  Always comes at the worst time.

"I'm sure, he didn't see you like that" bucky lied through his teeth. "Y'know, you shouldn't lie to people" you say, glaring even as tears seemed to fall.

"Then what do you want me to say? That he hates you and wishes he never met you or your mother" James snaps. Taken a back, you say "well, at least that is a lot closer to the truth."

You ask me what I'm thinking about                                                            I tell you that I'm thinking about      Whatever you're thinking about.

"Even when I won contests and got top marks, he never cared about me. Did you know he sent Happy to my parents evenings? Or how when I got a short story of mine published, he just shrugged" you snap.

"Not a 'congratulations' or 'wow, that's so cool'. I don't even care if I sound like a brat. He's the one that ruined everything. Why should I be the one ridiculed?" you finish.

Tell me something that I'll forget    And you might have to tell me again                                              
It's crazy what you'll do for a friend.

Everyone begins leaving and now there's just a couple of drunk people and the two of you. "When I went to school, I never really made that many friends" you say.

"People just... didn't like me that much" you explain, leaning against his shoulder. "I have no idea why" bucky said sarcastically as you send him a swift glare.

Go ahead and cry, little girl                  Nobody does it like you do                  I know how much it matters to you   I know that you got daddy issues.

Even when people said things like that as a joke, they still hurt you no matter how much you said that you didn't care about other people's opinions of you.

"I nearly died after being shot" you begin, "and the real reason was because I was shot in the stomach but didn't want then pulling up my shirt to operate because I was always told I was good enough."

And if you were my little girl              I'd do whatever I could do                    I'd run away and hide with you          I love that she's got daddy issues.

"That sucks" he says, quietly. "Yep" you agree, just staring into the distance. "How old were you then?" Bucky asked.

"Twelve" you practically whisper as he strains to hear you. "I'm sorry" he said. "So am I".

I keep on trying to let you go              I'm dying to let you know                      How I'm getting on.

"I keep wondering what would've happened if I died instead" you confess, "no one would've missed me and I agree with them".

"Tony would miss you" Bucky said, not even knowing if what he's saying is true but hoping that it is.

I didn't cry when you left at first     But now that you're dead it hurts      This time I gotta know                           Where did my daddy go?

"I would always ask my mum if he was ever coming back" you explain, "and she'd say no and I would try to move on even if it hurt".

"Now is worse because I know he is never coming back and that I can't even say sorry" you finish. As Bucky turns to you, not saying anything but looking at you in sympathy.

I'm not entirely here                                         Half of me has disappeared.

As you got older, you felt yourself slowly disappearing until you are now just a shell of your former self. When you lost almost everyone, you were left feeling as though you have no one.

But now, you knew that was true. Your entire life, no one really cared about you until fifteen minutes ago when Bucky took away your alcohol.