𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

Chapter 23~ Please stop

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*TW: NIGHTMARES, ANXIETY, KNIFES, GUNS, DEATH, BODY SHAMING, HATRED*

𝐈𝐯𝐲 𝐖𝐞𝐬𝐭

I look at myself through my mirror with a disappointment face. I look at the stretch marks on my hips and pull my hoodie down more. I am ugly.

Sighing I walk to my closet looking for some sweatpants. I grab my favorite pair, cause they are so damn comfy and slip them on only for them to fall back down. This month I lost 40 pounds.

I always thought I was perfect. My dad always says so, he says I'm his perfect little baby no matter what and he will always love me. And that was enough for me, until I noticed the looks my brothers girlfriend started giving me. Disgust.

So I wanted to change. I was never "fat" whatever that even means in society at this point. There is no damn thing as "fat". Everyone is beautiful. And so was I. But I changed myself and no matter how many times I told people I was doing it for me. I know it was for my mom. She hated the way I looked. Wider hips. A bigger then normal bum. A good waist with a stomach with a cute and good amount of chub. I liked how I looked, and I was happy.

But now everything feels so weird. I don't like this. Mom's looks have gotten worse. She's just stressed with work. And even in school I get cat called, people keep checking me out and shit. I hate it. I wish I could have understood my dad when he said I was perfect.

I pick up some shorts seeing they are the only things that fit me at this point. Guess I'll need to go shopping.

I look at myself in the mirror like I've been doing for a while now, "you're loved" I whisper.

I walk out of the closet with a sigh before pulling my hair down smiling at how my dark hair falls to right above my hips. Gosh I love my hair.

I walk downstairs with a huge smile on my face seeing today is the day dad takes me out for ice cream, mom is always at work and Xander has been busy with his girlfriend lately. Linda, she's nice. I guess.

I walk down the stairs surprised mom is in the kitchen , baking. She never bakes. What the hell?

"Hey Mom! Morning Xander...And Linda?" I say as my eyes fall to my brothers girlfriend sitting on my stool. She looks me up and down making me suddenly feel so fucking ugly and self conscious. "You should lose weight Ivy, no guys will want to date you if you don't" she says before Xander shows something on his phone to her.

I look at him and mom for some help and Xander is busy, I guess he has headphones in? It's okay. I look to mom and she looks at my body with a disgusted look. "She's right. Why can't you be like her?" She asks. I-I lost so much weight. I thought I finally met the stupid beauty standards?

I feel my eyes glossy, she's just stressed from work I bet. I take a deep breath. You're loved Ivy.

I smile and walk down the rest of the stairs. "Morning mom" I smile and she rolls her eyes. I think she had a rough day. It's okay, maybe some coffee will cheer her up?

"You're eating?" She asks and I nod with my smile persistent on my lips. "Where's dad?" I ask. I remember him telling me he had a conference last night but I don't remember much cause I was really focused on watching Olaf dancing and singing.

"A meeting in New York." She answers monotone and. I hum. "So how is work going mom?" I ask placing a cup of coffee next to her. She doesn't answer and I assume she is looking at a email on her phone which is in her hands.