Cuddle Buddies - Niko Vilhelm Moilanen | Blind Channel

Truth

Trigger warning: Mention of suicidal thoughts (no detailed description)

I don't know for how long Tommi and I had sat next to each other on my bed, hugging each other and thinking about what had happened the last couple of days. Everything I had done with Niko, everything we had talked about was in my head again, it felt like I experienced everything a second time. It was silent all the time because we both were lost in thoughts, but it wasn't a bad kind of silence, rather a comfortable one.

Suddenly, the silence was broken my mom screaming my name. „Yes?", I yelled back after loosening our hug because I didn't want to yell that close to Tommi's ear. „Here's someone who wants to visit you!", she answered. Confused, Tommi looked at each other and I shrugged. I hadn't even heard our doorbell ringing because my thoughts were that far away. At first, I had no idea who it could be that wanted to visit me but after a few seconds of thinking, it seemed kinds obvious to me. Of course, it had to be Niko – the person I had expected to stand in front of the door when Tommi had come.

Apparently, Tommi had the same thought because we both whispered „Niko". „Tell him he can come to my room. He should know the way upstairs", I answered and giggled for a moment before I hugged Tommi again. When Niko was there, I didn't really want to hug either of them because I thought that could get awkward quite quick. It didn't take long to go upstairs, a few seconds later we heard him knocking at my door. „Come in!", I said smiling and withdrew from the hug.

Tommi and I both got up as Niko entered the room to hug our friend. „Hey", I whispered while wrapping my arms around the handsome brown haired man. „Hey", he answered and returned my hug for a second. We both loosened the hug quickly – probably because both of us didn't want Tommi to think we had already fallen for each other which he could easily think because of a long hug. On the other hand, there was still something between Niko and me to clarify before we found ourselves cuddling on my bed again. Until now, I had only heard Tommi's version of what happened which probably was rather Linnea's than Niko's.

But after hugging Niko, Tommi didn't sit down as we did which made me look confused at him. On the contrary, he took a step towards the door. „I'll leave you two alone, I guess you have a lot to talk about. But Niko my dear friend, before you fuck Sofia, make sure she had been at the gynecologist! I don't want to become uncle in such a young age!", he said trying to keep serious and avoid laughing before I saw the tall man waving at us and leaving us alone.

Well, that was typical for Tommi again. But I guess that was his way to tell us or especially me he was fine with us being close to each other, even that close, even though I didn't even want that – at least I thought so. That's why I simply smiled and pulled Niko – who looked confused back and forth between me and the door in which Tommi had stood a few seconds ago – in a tight hug. „Don't listen to that idiot", I said and couldn't avoid to giggle a bit. Luckily, Niko started chuckling as well and hugged me back.

„I'd love to hug your forever and cuddle with you on your bed but I think Tommi was right: There's a lot we should talk about", Niko said while loosening our hug a few seconds later and looked at me apologizing. I didn't want to stop doing what we did right now either but I guess he was right. We could do that later, first we should talk. Thus, I simply nodded and looked at him, expecting him to start.

„First of all, I want to tell you, why I am here. I felt like you really enjoyed our music – which made me extremely happy! – but suddenly I could feel that your mood changed. The wide smile on your face was gone and it felt like you weren't even listening to our song anymore. And then you left that quickly without saying goodbye like you used to do it before. I figure it had to do with me kissing Joonas, right? Because when I looked at you after the kiss, your facial expression was totally different to before."