Irreplaceable

chapter 23 | sunlight

JASMIN MARTINEZ

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I went through the forest, pushing away the plants and branches out of my way. After a while, I found a river of water. I went closer to the water as I saw the clear water with multiple rocks and tree branches.

I sat down on the big wide log and lit my cigarette. I took a big drag of my cigarette as I leaned back and looked at the sunlight coming. It was around sunrise time which created a beautiful atmosphere.

I exhaled as I pondered over everything that went down yesterday. What the fuck did I do? I was highly disappointed in myself that I couldn't control myself around him. I just had to go ahead and have sex with him. My body felt sore and I was still limping. But, not because my foot hurt. I just got fucked greatly.

He was blackmailed to cheat on me. Karla blackmailed him, took his sister, and threatened to kill her.

No wonder he killed her.

But, why did it take him five fucking years to tell me the truth?

I put the cigarette back into my mouth.

When I woke up this early morning I was in Chase's guest bedroom. He had put on his white dress shirt on me. I don't remember anything after I fell into darkness. But, the white wrap around my foot was replaced with a new wrap. My makeup was taken off of my face. And, a glass of water was left on the bedside table. My purse, phone, and MacBook were on the nightstand as well.

I put on my shoes that were near the bed before using the bathroom and coming outside. I didn't see him in the guesthouse and that was for the best. I needed a minute to breathe alone.

I took my phone and came here. I didn't even know there was a river behind the forest but damn was it peaceful.

I took another long drag as I looked at the water. I heard footsteps coming on my back and I knew exactly who it was. He took a seat beside me as he looked towards the water and sunrise.

No one spoke as we were both deeply invested in our thoughts. I couldn't forgive him, right? I have to be selfish enough to not have myself go through that trauma again.

Moreover, I don't have any feelings remaining for him.

Maybe, this can be the closure that can officially end that chapter of my life. Afterward, we both continue with our lives separately.

"I'm sorry," He spoke. I glanced towards him as the sunlight hit my face. "I know you won't be able to forgive me." He continued. "Fuck, I didn't anticipate this to be this difficult." He ran a hand through his locks.

I laughed as I put my hand on my forehead using it as a shield from the sun "What the fuck is life?"

It quite literally is a fucking joke.

"Who the fuck knows." He replied.

"I don't know if I can believe you, Chase," I said, honestly. I really couldn't.

"I understand." He sighed. "I have all the evidence but it really doesn't mean anything now. It's too late."

I didn't reply.

It was late. I have a completely new life now and I don't want to be stuck in the past. Would it really matter if I even found out he's telling the truth?

"Right," I confirmed.

"Maybe in a different life."

I looked at him "Hell no!" I joked. "Never fucking again."