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"You're really leaving" Nani asked as I packed my shit.
"Yes. College is a huge part as to why I feel the way I do. I just need to get away from it. It's not for me anymore"
"Oh wow. But diamond stay in touch please. Imma miss yo ugly ass" she said making me laugh.
"I'll try. Just give me time though because I know the first few months are gonna be rocky for me" I said zipping my suit case.
"Okay" she said.
I stood up and took a deep breath. Everything else is already in my car. I just had a little bit of clothes left.
I looked down at my watch and sighed. It's 10:00am. This is the longest I've went without drinking nothing. My body is literally craving alcohol right now.
Im not gonna drink shit until I get to my destination. I was supposed to go see DeAsjah today and stay til my flight on Sunday but I don't know anymore.
I might just go see her on Sunday before I leave.
But she's part of the reason why I ain't drunk shit at all today. I'm really fighting demons right now tryna stay sober.
I just feel weird standing in her face knowing I broke every promise we made. Barely even attempted to keep them.
The first one was that I wouldn't drink heavy anymore. Broke that one the next day.
The second one was that I'd try to control it. Haven't attempted at that shit.
The last one was that I wouldn't get black out drunk. That's happened three times since the promise. One time I was put in the hospital. No one knows but Nani though.
So no I haven't been doing good at all. I still ain't been to class. Only to take my midterms though. I passed them shits with flying colors. No I wasn't sober during them either.
Life's been shitty. Real shitty and I've really been finding it hard to stay sober. I feel like I've thrown my life away.
I barely talk to anyone. I barely eat. I barely sleep.
"Ughhh I fucking hate my life"
"Go see your girlfriend" Nani said patting my shoulder.
"I don't wanna. She's gonna be so fucking disappointed in me. And that feeling.. that- that look doesn't feel great at all"
"Too bad. I called her already so she knows your leaving. You might as well go see her"
"The fuck would you do that for?" I asked turning around to her.
