Starboy

Chapter 54: Everything Sucks

Benji

My eyes slowly open and all I see is my bedroom at a slanted angle. For a moment, I wonder why the hell I am at my parent's house — and then I remember. A few flashbacks occur to me of drinking champagne and whiskey; tumbling up the stairs; Brandy checking up on me. I don't have a hangover but I don't feel great either.

I make my way down the stairs and see Mom on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands, as well as a fashion magazine. I sigh before I head into the kitchen to make myself some coffee. I sit down across from Mom and wait for her to say something or at least acknowledge me, but she doesn't.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm here?" I say.

She doesn't make a move or a sound. "No," she finally says. "I know why you're here, Benji, you aren't all that mysterious, you know."

I quietly scoff. "Are you seriously mad at me? Me?" I point to myself.

Her eyes finally look up from her magazine and at me. "It's your routine, Benji. I'm not mad and I'm not surprised either."

"What time did Brandy leave last night?" I wonder, realizing I haven't texted her yet.

She chuckles. "Brandy," she says strangely. "Do you know what she said to your father last night?" She sighs.

I squint my eyes at her. "What do you mean? What did she say to Dad?"

"I don't know the specifics, to be honest. Your father talks so quickly, I hardly caught it all. I just know that your father is very upset."

"Mom, what did she say?" I ask again.

"She stood up for you, Benji. That's all that I know," she answers. She puts down her magazine and tea on the coffee table and leans over to me. "Your father isn't happy with her, Benji. He thinks she's rude. But for me? I think you've got a wonderful friend, sticking up to him like that. It takes courage. I've always liked Brandy — this is just why."

"Mom, I have something I need to tell you," I say hesitantly. She looks at me curiously and crosses her legs. "Can you promise not to tell Dad?"

"You want me to lie to my husband?"

"No," I say. "I want you to keep a secret for your son."

She sighs. "Just tell me, Benji, and we'll figure it out. You know that I'll always protect you."

"I'm... dating Brandy," I finally get it off my chest. She blinks rapidly like she's trying to process what I told her. "I know with the Turners this makes everything complicated but I really can't keep it a secret anymore. I think we need to talk — you, me and Dad."

"Dating?" She asks. "What does that mean exactly?"

"You're kidding," I assume. "We like each other, we go out together, we..." I sigh. "Kiss."

"How long has this been going on?" She doesn't sound mad, just confused. "Years?"

"No, no, not years. It's been about four months," I reply. "We started dating once we moved in together. Things just kind of escalated from there."

"I — I thought she was the one girlfriend you had that you were platonic with," she recalls. "That's why your father and I were so quick to let her live with you."

"I know, that's what I thought too. But Mom, she's still a great influence on me. I'm going to all of my classes, my grades are better than they've ever been, and I'm drinking a lot less. I know after last night you probably don't believe me, but I'm telling the truth. I'm trying, Mom. I am trying to do better for myself."