Music Sheet (Harry Styles)

Chapter 22 ~ Hannah

Chapter 22 ~ Hannah

“Okay, Harry. Help me,” I tell him looking in his eyes. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but he’s right. I can’t live like this forever, this is not living. My mum wouldn’t be happy, and that someone who didn’t even know her can tell me this… it really means something.

Savannah and Dad tried to do something about it, to get to me, but they never succeeded. They can’t really help me because they have been in my life all this time. But Harry doesn’t know the person I was before all this happened, he only knows who I am today and still he can see I’m not okay. He is the one that can help me get over this and carry on with my life. I just have to trust that he can really help me.

I’ve honestly forgotten how to let people in. I’ve been forcing myself to be indifferent to everyone that I’m not sure if I can change that again, but Harry can break those walls, can step in my life and no matter how much I push, he doesn’t step back. If there’s someone who can make me tear down my walls forever, it’s him.

Harry smiles at me, his dimples showing off and his emerald eyes sparkling with joy. “You just gave the first step, Hannah. And the first step is always the hardest,” he tells me and I notice in that moment that he is holding my hand, stroking my skin softly with his thumb.

My first impulse is to pull back, but I fight that and I leave my hand there, I allow Harry to comfort me because I need to get used to people caring about me again and if I let Harry comfort me like this, maybe in the future I will allow other people to be like him. Maybe someday I will be the same person I was before I lost my mother.

“It will take time, but you’ll make it. Just promise me you won’t push me away anymore.” His eyes are more serious this time and I know this promise is important. My answer will show my commitment.

I’m very tempted to tell him I can’t promise that, but if I really want to move on I need to do this. “I promise,” I answer and for a second there’s surprise in his eyes before absolute glee replaces it.

He squeezes my hand gently and I close my eyes to take a deep breath before squeezing back. It’s a small gesture, almost unimportant for someone normal, but it’s a big step for me. I’m giving back affection, I’m recognising his concern and appreciating it. That is a ginormous step for me and I know Harry gets it.

“I’ll make more tea, this one must be cold already,” says Harry looking at the two mugs on the coffee table in front of us. “And I will bring you some tissues, okay? Though you can go to the toilet while I prepare the tea,” he offers looking at me again, one hand leaving mine and rising to my face, to brush tenderly with his thumb the tears that left a shiny linger on my cheeks.

“Seems like a good idea. Show me the way,” I ask and he nods standing up and not releasing my hand as he walks me to the hall.

“That door. I’ll also make something to eat. You’re too skinny,” he tells me and I look at him with my brow furrowed.

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

“Because it’s not. Being skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthy. I learnt that, Mila is always feeding Zayn ‘cos she says he’s too skinny.”

“And you’re gonna do the same with me?” I ask, for some reason this really amuses me. “Or are you gonna try poison me with your food?”

“Oi! I’m a really good cook!” He protests and I giggle softly, impressed at how now I can be laughing when minutes before I was crying my eyes out. Definitely, no one has done that with me before. “You’ll see.”