Music Sheet (Harry Styles)

Chapter 46 ~ Hannah

Chapter 46 ~ Hannah

“I don’t understand,” Savannah blurts out, but I’m still with my face buried in my pillow. Hope is on my back, trying to get my attention but I feel lifeless, I feel lost, I feel desperate. “What happened? Why is everyone saying Harry cheated on you? Why isn’t he here?”

“Foz fhe fgavef upf,” I mumble with the pillow still in my mouth. I’m sure no one understood what I just said.

Savannah reaches her limit as well because she takes my shoulder and pulls me backwards. I feel the moment Hope runs away before she ends up on the floor or even worse, at the door. My friend makes me face her but I can barely see, my eyesight is so blurry and my eyes burn with the light.

I’ve been inside my room for three whole days. I haven’t even left to eat, though Dad keeps bringing food to my door. I only leave my bed to go to the bathroom and even if my phone goes off, I don’t move to pick up. I know it’s not Harry calling.

I still can’t believe what he did but the moment he turned his back on me and left, my heart ended up breaking. When he disappeared from my side I realised that he was right, I’m using this just as an excuse to push him away because I’m still afraid. Yet he cheated on me! How can I ignore that and just go after him? How can I forgive him for that?

Anyways, that doesn’t matter anymore. It’s too late, he told me that already. He doesn’t believe I can be better, that I can properly heal once and for all, and to be honest, I don’t believe it either. Not anymore. Only when he was with me I could believe that everything was going to be fine, that I could make it.

“My goodness, Hannah!” Savannah cries out in shock and fear, I can feel it in her voice. “Please tell me, what happened?” She begs, hugging me tightly. I hold on to her for dear life, hoping that somehow her embrace may save me from keep sinking in my black pit of self-pity.

“Harry… Harry cheated on me!” I exclaim between fits of sobs. “With a married woman.”

I feel Savannah tensing next to me, her arms stiff around my body and her breaths are sharp and short. “That can’t be true,” she whispers and I feel like crying again.

I wish it wasn’t true!

“It is. That woman is now everywhere telling the world how Harry ruined her marriage!” I cry out, closing my eyes tightly as I try to push away the image of Jennifer Jones crying like there is no tomorrow.

“But I just saw the boys on an interview this morning and he didn’t mention a thing! He smiled and was nice to everyone,” she states, very confused herself.

Her words hurt me even more because if he is not denying it publicly, that means it is true. That last hope burns out.

“Why did he do this to me? Why? I fell for him, Savannah!” I scream desperately, grabbing so tightly to her jumper in my fists that my knuckles are white. “I fell in love with him and he does this to me! Why? I should’ve never let him in! That was my mistake!” I burst out crying, holding on to my friend because she is the only one there. The only one who has been here for me all this time, always bearing with me no matter what I’m going through.

“I’m so sorry, Hannah! I– I– I can’t believe this happened. There’s must be an explanation,” she insists but I know there’s no other explanation but the fact that I don’t mean as much as I thought I meant to Harry. He clearly never felt as deeply as he made me think.

Maybe it was always a game; after he got what he couldn’t have, he got bored.

There’s a part of me that keeps protesting inside, screaming that all this is bullshit and I shouldn’t believe the lies I’m saying, but what else can it be?