Music Sheet (Harry Styles)

Chapter 23 ~ Harry

Chapter 23 ~ Harry

That night I can’t sleep and it’s because I can’t get Hannah’s image out of my mind. I see her broken heart in her eyes, the way she looked at me when all her walls were on the floor. She’s so afraid of losing someone, of feeling that pain all over again and a part of understands her perfectly, after all, we are all afraid of losing someone we love; but there’s another part that wants to yell at her to let that behind and move on. However, I know very well I can’t rush her on this. She already did a huge progress today with me, but she won’t overcome her fear from one day to another.

At least she has accepted my help this time.

I wish I could just take her in my arms and push away all her fears, put at ease all her worries and only make her smile. I wish I could vanish that sad look in her eyes, that emptiness that squeezes my heart painfully every time I stare into her eyes.

I’m not sure if the fact that it’s her mother’s death what changed her makes this even harder than what I expected or not. I must admit that many times it crossed my mind that something even worse had happened to her, I even thought that maybe someone had raped her. Now that I know exactly what changed her, what broke her like this… I’m not sure how to proceed. I only know that I need to teach her to care about people again but how does one do that exactly?

Like that, thinking of ways to help her, I’m restless the next day and it’s hard to focus during the day in the studio. The guys ask me what’s wrong, but I can’t exactly tell them. It’s like when I met Sheila. She told me it wasn’t her story to tell and now I can understand her. It’s not about Hannah’s mother’s death exactly, it’s about how she has taken that. I can’t share that with the boys, not even Mila and Moni who had already helped me to understand Hannah.

“You okay, Harreh?” Louis asks me when we’re done for today in the studio and we are free to go.

I sigh deeply, fighting to find the words to explain my situation. “I think. I just have many things in my mind.”

“And I bet all those things involve Hannah. Am I wrong?” He asks with a cheeky grin, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

“You’re absolutely correct. I just want to help her, you know? To show her so many things, to teach her it’s okay to care about people again,” I trail off looking at the ground again.

“You’re really falling hard for this girl, aren’t you? And I mean really hard. You’re completely on in all this, giving your hundred per cent.” I look at him for a second, smiling resigned. I won’t even bother to deny that because it would be foolish and futile. Everyone knows that I’m beyond liking Hannah already and since she asked me for help, our bond is stronger. I feel she needs me this time. Probably, I’m the first person she has let in since her mum died, she’s trusting in me and only thinking of that gives me great pleasure and makes me feel accomplished.

Hannah doesn’t care that I’m Harry Styles, or just Harry for what it matters. For her at the beginning I was just another person she didn’t want in her life, but I tore those walls down and now I’m more than just a random person in her life. Against her own wishes, I’m part of her life somehow but I’m still not satisfied because I want more. I don’t want her to only need me to help her, I want her to want me back, to miss me, to wish I was with her.

“I’m really falling for her. She’s so different, you know? So complex and intriguing. She really makes me work for her,” I confess to my best mate and he pats my shoulder.

“Then I wish you the best luck and I can’t wait to meet this girl who has put your world upside-down. She sure must be interesting,” he replies with an honest smile, no mischiefs this time.