𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ➪ 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐒

XXXVII. WHY ME? WHY NOW?

I wasn't enough, was I?

Of course not. If I was then she would have ignored her father and found a way for us to date without him knowing.

I walked home through the now darkening city and when I reached home I ran up the stairs and shut the door loudly, locking it.

I sat onmy bed and let out the sobs I had been hiding for so long.

I swear my heart actually physically broke. No joke.

The first time I had been in love and it ends this way. I thought that maybe this could be it. Maybe she was the one. Well, obviously, she isn't the one.

I couldn't actually believe it was all over. All the times spent together all the good night texts, not good morning we didn't like those, all the nicknames for each other, all the inside jokes. Gone. Gone without a trace.

I thought back to all the times she kissed me and I let out a heart-wrenching sob.

"Fuck!" I shouted and hit my bed with my foot.

I soon heard a knock on my door and a soft voice which belonged to my mother. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my sobs.

"Althea, dear?" my mother said. "What happened, baby?"

I stayed silent for a while, thinking about what to say.

"N - nothing." I said and I heard her walk away.

A little while later I heard another knock but this time it wasn't my mother but Luca.

"Althea." he said. "Let me in, please."

"I don't want to talk to anyone." I said.

"Althea - " he started.

"Leave me alone." I said a little louder than I intended. "Sorry." I said.

"Althea. You can't get over something if you don't tell anyone." he said.

I knew that he wouldn't give up and he'd stand there till I let him in so I saved myself the anger and walked up to the door, unlocking it. I opened it a little bit only just enough to peek put of it.

I saw Luca looking at me, smiling sadly, and my mother standing behind him.

"Mom, maybe leave us alone." he whispered to my mother.

"Of course." she nodded. "If it helps."

She smiled at me and then turned to leave.

I let him in my room and then went back to sit on my bed. I hid my face in my arms and I heard him lock the door behind him. I felt the bed next to me bend and I knew he sat next to when I felt his arms around me.

I let out a muffled sob and started crying again.

"Althea, tell me what happened." he said gently and I raised my head. I know my eyeliner was an absolute mess but right now I didn't care.

"It's, uh, over." I whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Vica - Victoria. She broke up with me." I said and I saw his eyes soften.

"Oh, Al." he said and hugged me.

"It's fine. She had a reason." I said.

"No, she didn't. What could be the reason to put such an amazing girl through this hell?" he asked in disbelief.

"Her dad didn't know we were dating and he's verg homophobic. Earlier today, he found out that we were dating and told her she had till the evening to break up with me. And so, she did." I said quietly.

"That motherfucker." he said. "He should be happy for his daughter's happiness and relieved she's dating such an incredible and talented girl and not make her break up with you."

"Yeah." I stayed silent after that.

He stayed for a while, trying to tell me I deserved much more but I didn't believe a word he said.

Maybe I was too fat?
Maybe I was too ugly?
Maybe I was too stupid?
Maybe I was just not enough for her.

These kind of thoughts would not leave my mind for the longest time and just got worse when he left after thinking I had fallen asleep.

There was no way I was going to sleep.

Why me? Why now?