The title is something that denotes what the story will be about and how it is related. Something intriguing, to the point, and at the same time uniqueness should be there.
Speaking of your story, I didn't find any creativity or intriguing factor regarding your title. It was just bland to me. Just a small term. Moreover, I find very less connection between the title to the main plot. It was connected as in the story tells us about this "Shadow" person. However, I feel that it was not that impactful. I mean the story does not only revolve around "Shadow", it has other things too. Thus, I would suggest you work a little more on creativity and connectivity for the title.
» Cover :: 5/10
The cover is one of the main things that attracts a reader to the book. It should fulfill a few aspects such as the connectivity with the plot and its theme, attractiveness, and overall design.
About your cover, I would say that it did not fulfill all the things mentioned above. It was just a simple picture of Taehyung and the black and white effect and fonts are somehow placed on it. It did not present the story theme and concept in the right way. Also, maintaining your title, your story mainly surrounds "Shadow". Therefore, the only thing I can suggest is to take help from a professional in this field.
» Blurb :: 3/5
Now the blurb is somewhat the starting of the story and it is the final thing one would check or read before entering to your main story. They should be of a quality length, should contain suspense and/or conflict indicating that the story will be revolving around that conflict. And also alluring enough to attract the reader.
Your blurb was quite short and it kind of gave off your plot concept, when you said there were two choices yet single choice. It wasn't hard to guess the storyline, at least for me. Also, a few grammatical errors were there. And also, I didn't see much alluring or interesting facts in the blurb to attract me to read the story further. Work on it more, give a little bit of intro to the leads, keeping your main elements secret. Just the base and a few things here and there. Then you will do good.
Dawn :: 7/10
The starting of a story always puts a huge impact on a reader whether to read the book further or not. It should be interesting and got me hooked. I wouldn't say it was bad, but it was not that good either.
You directly went for the main things in the initial chapters, which I liked, considering we usually don't see stories straight away go to such things. It was quite good. But as mentioned earlier, your blurb already gave a hint of your plot and your opening chapters added more on that. Thus for that reason, my interest level decreased and I feel you could have added some more to it. But other than that, you did a good job. Keep it up.
Plot and Idea :: 12/20
Mafia, kidnapping, and revenge concept/idea is never new on this platform. Also, the MCs hiding in shadows and having a crucial past are now very common ideas. Thus, in cases of regular ideas, we mainly search for the uniqueness, creativity and the plot execution.
So far, I still don't see much of a different setting from other similar concept stories. But I surely loved the interactions between the MCs though I think more could have been added to their lives during the kidnapping period. It just felt like the MC was kidnapped one day and released the other, thus it disturbed the flow, I feel. Other than that, I can't say more about your plot as you have less chapters. Overall, work more on your story flow and execution.
Characters and Emotions :: 6/15
The characters are what make a plot complete. Emotions are what connect the characters with readers, and also their actions and reactions are based on their emotions mainly.
Coming to your one, I must say that the characters' build up was quite good. However, I feel the characters' emotions were not portrayed well. Yes, maybe your point was to show the story side of the characters still the overall emotions felt monotonous to me. You said the emotions, but I was supposed to feel the emotions, which didn't happen. Thus, you got to work on that.
Writing Style :: 9/15
When I say your writing style can build and break your story, it really does. The writing style is, basically, the identity of an author. It describes how they write a certain piece of writing. Thus, it's a crucial element while writing.
Your writing style was good but it was not the best, which it definitely could be. As mentioned earlier, you told the 'happenings'. Not make me feel or visualize those. When writing, it is quite important for your readers to visualize the scenes and all. Your tone was quite bland and monotone.
You have used a 3rd person point of view, which indeed gives you a wide range of scopes to describe and present in more detail. Thus, work on this part. Your writing is good, just that little touch up is needed.
Grammar :: 14/20
Now, the grammar part is something that I am really stingy about to give scores. I really don't get satisfied easily with this part. But I must say, your grammar was quite satisfying for me. There were not many mistakes. But these certain mistakes were repeated every time :
» Wrong use of tags punctuation rules.
» Absence of punctuations when needed and misuse of them when not needed.
» Through the story, only two punctuation marks were used (period [.] and comma [,]), whereas in certain areas you could have gone for semicolon (;), colon (:) or em-dashes (—).
» Few tenses errors were there as well. For example, using "Today" makes your sentence in present tense and "were" makes it past. And now, if we say, "Today, you were going to go back to your dad." [Just an example.] that is really not right. Because you can't be in the present and do a past thing or vice versa. Thus, avoid current happening words in past tense used stories.
Other than these you are quite okay with your grammar, thus, well done!
TOTAL :: 58/100
[Reviewer's Note :: You are really good with your writing and concept. Just fix up the mentioned things and you will do great. All the best!]
![𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/287210578-64-k299057.jpg)