𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]

ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇɪʀ's ʟᴇɢᴇɴᴅ

↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ ravenclaw_witch_9
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀྀ Kim_eats

First Light :: 11/20

» Title :: 3/5

The title is relevant to the story. It tells a reader what they can expect from the book while also not revealing everything. Though I feel like it's not a very uncommon title, not the most ingenious either. It will attract the attention of those who like to read these types of stories but I'm not sure it will attract new readers who wish to explore this genre.

» Cover :: 7/10

The cover is really pretty. After reading I can say that it matches with the story perfectly with the purple smoke and the crown and everything. But I think the blending could be done better. It currently looks like you cut Emma's face and pasted it where it was empty. On a closer inspection I can see colours from her dress, but while browsing it looks weird. If you could fix that, it'd be great.

» Blurb :: 1/5

The way you went about with the structure and length with the dialogue in the beginning is the perfect way by wattpad standard to write a blurb. However, the reasons for less ratings are numerous. The first and biggest one is the grammar but I would rather cover it in the grammar section in detail. To be honest, the grammar and the sentence structure makes the blurb quite uninteresting. Then you started two paragraphs with ‘but’ and the repetitiveness puts a damper on the effect the blurb could have produced. The last line is unnecessary and I would suggest not to use it in the blurb. Rather end it with a question or something that hints what might happen in future. Overall, the blurb needs to be re-written to attract readers.

Dawn :: 3 /10

The start with the description, cast and playlist was nice. Giving an overview in fantasy books before getting to the actual story is nice to familiarise the readers with the terms and overall theme. But then the first chapter rolls in and I'm left deflated.

Along with the lack of description (which I will cover in writing style), everything in the first two chapters is just repeating the same thing again and again. I mean, I understand why it's happening, the king just died and the rightful heir is refusing to ascend the throne but instead of showing this whole ordeal, the chapters are only filled with dialogues trying to convince Estelle.

Repeating the same thing again and again is going to make the readers feel bored and leave immediately and I felt the same way because you first mentioned it in the description chapter and again in the first two chapters. Even if your book requires it, you must be able to come up with different and creative ways to put the same thing forth without boring your audience. So, I definitely suggest you revise these chapters and correct the flow and make it more engaging and thrilling.