𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]

ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ғᴀʟʟ

↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ yoursauther
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ -jennieverse-

First Light :: 7/20

» Title :: 2/5

Starting with the title of your book. It is an interesting one but I am not sure if it is going to attract any readers. You could have been more creative with your title, when I go on to read your blurb so that I can find any connection between the story to your title, I find none. The title should hold some importance and at least have some connection to the story; it should just look relevant to the plot. The relevancy needs to be surfaced quick enough to not create any confusion for the readers. Even after reading 10 to 12 chapters of your story I could not find the title relevant. For the title I suggest you go with something a little more unique and something that would have a deeper connection to the story.

» Cover :: 3/10

I am really sorry to say but I am not very convinced with the cover neither am I impressed. The cover in no way gives out thriller for a mafia vibe. The selection of pictures needs to be better, the font style should be better and also the text placements need improvement. The overlapping filters are ruining the vibe as a whole. Again the cover is not very relevant to the story and does not express the genre or the idea of the story in any way. I suggest you get your cover made from a graphic shop. It would look better and will help you attract more readers.

» Blurb :: 2/5

No talking about the blurb of your story, it is very confusing. First of all I can see that it is divided into three parts and none of the three parts make complete sense. The basic setting you use for writing has a few problems that I will talk about in the writing section, but apart from that the whole blurb looks messy, as a reader I am not sure if I would like to proceed and read the book after reading the blurb of the book. A blurb of a book is the first thing a reader reads about the book so you need to make sure that it is expressing your best. I could find a lot of grammatical errors in your blurb. I suggest you keep your blurb a little short and precise and try to state clear facts in a way that it looks clean and is understandable.

Dawn :: 5/10

The first few chapters are introductions which is all good but I think instead of having two introductions, it could have been finished in one. Apart from that there were few punctuation mistakes, I will talk about it in the grammar part. Overall the introductions could have been a bit more aesthetically pleasing. Now talking about the first few chapters, apart from the constant grammatical and punctuation errors, I liked the starting. Although just the next chapter followed a cliché where the female lead wakes up by the alarm. I am not saying clichés are bad but you should try and be a bit more creative from time to time.

Maybe instead of getting the chapter started with an alarm clock ringing, you can start the chapter with the female lead having a nightmare and then suddenly gets woken up by the alarm, just to realize all that she saw now was a dream. In this way you can stick to your plot outline as well as get creative with it. Try not to write the obvious always, it will pull out the curiosity out of the readers.