𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]

ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜɪꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ ViniShah2
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ rabisworld02

First Light :: 16/20

First light means first impression after seeing the book for the first time. Reading the title, blurb and analyzing the cover, the graphics portrayed in it, i was like “Ok, seems good, let’s read” But let me be honest, there are a few factors which need to be discussed, in blurb and graphics of cover.

Let’s scroll further.

» Title :: 4/5

If you ask me about the relevance and relation between the title and the story, then I will say that yes, I felt it. I felt a strong connection between the title and the story. It was not directly linked or being made obvious in the story but it was attached to the theme and main story plot. But if we talk about its attractiveness, then I am forced to say that it didn’t attract me that much. What I meant to say is, I didn't jump up and down when I read the title. It was simple and didn’t attract me much. But I think that is bearable as the main point is its relevance and relation to the plot.

» Cover :: 4/10

When I first saw the cover, I found it boring. Like all the details are tinted and no attraction can be found here. The images seem to be blurry and not in HD format. I would suggest you use colorful pictures as this story is not plain or boring at all. I think the cover is not justifying the story. I will ask you to consider changing it and use other important characters in it as well. For example, Yoongi and Jungkook as they both have important roles in this story.

» Blurb :: 3/5

When I read the title, it said it was a taehyung ff, but then i read blurb and by reading it, it felt like it was more of Taehyung and Yoongi ff, as in the blurb, it is showing like taehyung and yoongi had a history together instead of taehyung and yoongi’s sister. Especially the line “That Suga is somehow connected to his past?” is demonstrating that Taehyung and Yoongi had something in the past which ended badly, it is not a lie though, they had connections but in the story's main theme, there is nothing like these lines are depicting. I would suggest you change that.

Second, the blurb is void of any interesting scene or dialogue. Blurb is the representation of the whole story and one of the things which attracts the readers. You should add a few interesting dialogues or scenes from your story here. I think the slap scene and the scene where it is mentioned that taehyung left her after getting her pregnant at 22. It seems interesting and will catch reader’s attention.

Dawn :: 6/10

Dawn means the first impression after reading the first chapter. When I started it, I did not feel anything. It was plain and no exciting thing happened in the start. It was straight and things started off rather fast. I would suggest you to add more details in the background scenes and a little past glimpses about taehyung’s idol life and suga’s struggles. 

Plot and Idea :: 16/20

I have read many stories with the same plot theme and storyline. It is a common story line in Idol au. Idol leaves for his career after breaking the main lead’s heart or leaving her pregnant, then coming back, interacting with others and suddenly coming to know about his child. I am sorry to say, but after reading only a few chapters, everything was predictable. I could predict every upcoming scene and already knew what would happen next. But at some points, I was left bewildered because of the glimpses of the past and how you executed your plot. That's a good point that you know how to handle the plot and how to execute it well. The details given and the way you have demonstrated each scene justified the plot and didn’t make it cliche. Even at some points, especially at the beginning, I thought of leaving it, which might be a common occurrence, if we talk about readers. But no, after getting ahead and more into the story, I continued and I do not regret it. You did a good job.

Characters and Emotions :: 13/15

In this factor, I can say that you need a little improvement. Emotions are unbalanced. At some point, they are poured from the heart and sometimes, it looks like you just got rid of the words without putting your emotions or heart in them. In other words we can say that the flow between emotions was unbalanced.

In this regard, I would say that you should practice it more with your writing. Practice makes a man perfect. Try to tidy the flow and keep it balanced by delivering equal amounts of stress or pressure on words and scenes. 

Writing Style :: 15/15

Your writing style is pretty good except for the emotions part. You need a little practice there and you are all ready to go.  Keep it up.

Grammar :: 20/20

I did not find any grammatical mistakes. It was all good, you have a firm grip over vocabulary and grammar.

Total :: 86/100

Reviewer's Note :: i enjoyed the book even though it is not my first time reading this au. Keep it up, you did a good job.

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.