Unique title that is accurately tied into the plot. The phrase itself is commonly heard, though, and can result in similarities via dialogue in other stories.
» Cover :: 9/10
The cover is great: there are many characters on it, so I assume there will be quite a number of people in the story. The colour scheme is synchronized with the title, which is appropriate, and the font style is kind of dramatic, suiting the overall vibe.
» Blurb :: 3/5
The blurb gives enough to intrigue the reader without revealing too much. Small issues to point out would be one missing punctuation and one spelling error.
None of y'all are going through anything alone we all will be here… (feels a bit like a run-on)
Edited: None of y'all are going through anything alone. We all will be here…
Eachother -> each other
Also, I find the section from "Raven said…" a little much. Using a single quote is good enough, there's no need to elaborate on the current action, as that takes away the attention from the quote. You want the reader to pay attention to the words, not see the actions. (this sentence only applies to blurb. For the actual story, you want the reader to see the action)
Dawn :: 8/10
There isn't a prologue or author's note for this book; it opens right onto the first chapter, which is told from Sage's angle. It catches her in the moment where she is packing up. While packing, she chances upon her old diary from when she was in high school. She intends to read it, but gets sidetracked by her dad's appearance and packs it up, before forgetting she has it with her. Subsequently on the plane, she remembers it and takes it out to read it.
My assumption is that the rest of the story happens in the past, and that the events of the following chapters are all events that took place while she was in school. To be honest, it took me a while to understand what happened. My original thought was that she was heading back to school from a long holiday, despite reading the part about "during her high school years". A suggestion I might make would be putting the date or year at the start of the first and second chapter, or a small line announcing the year. This way, it is very clear that we're jumping back in time.
Plot and Idea :: 13/20
Stories revolving around school life and friends are commonly seen, so it isn't a unique concept. However, in my opinion, every author writes a different concept in their own way, which ensures no plagiarism in a sense.
The remembrance at the start is also a common trope, but it really sets the scene, before bringing it back to the past. The next few chapters revolve around the antics of the previously high schoolers on their first day back at school. A lot of teasing, excitement and gossip occurs, romance talk between friends, the setting up of "dates" et cetera. Simple, but familiar.
The creation of drama occurs fairly quickly, after Pearl hears two people talking in the storage room about the school bully. And as this goes on, even more minor characters are introduced.
We come to a major event when the aforementioned school bully hits one of the later mentioned friends, Mavis, with an iron rod. She winds up with amnesia. Just when I thought it would offer elaboration on the event, even more characters and their dating life emerge.
Being honest, this story no longer has a plot: it's essentially just introducing new characters in every chapter.
Characters and Emotions :: 6/15
The author introduces many characters within the first few chapters: the six main girls, a few guys they know of or crush on, and some family members in one case.
First, Sage. Sage is the first character introduced, as we start off by appearing in her bedroom. Though internal feelings are not outrightly stated, the reader senses her sadness of leaving and her slight happiness from finding old memories in the form of her diary.
Next, we meet Summer. She doesn't express much feelings in her first appearance, other than embarrassment due to falling asleep on someone else and when her friends tease her about inviting that someone else out.
Raven and Hazel make their appearances in the same chapter. Raven is kind of mischievous, judging from the way she scared Sage and the fact she caught onto the teasing so quickly. Same with Hazel. Though she is stated as a scholarly yet attractive student, she didn't give up the chance to poke some fun at a friend.
When Sage manages to get her crush's number, Raven is there to tease her about it. This is also when we meet Pearl and Nora, who are, in my opinion, the gossipy kind of people.
Reading on further, I realised there isn't just the six people I thought were the friend group. There are actually way more of them, and it feels neverending.
Overall, so many characters are introduced, but we do not get much in depth on any of them or their feelings about situations. The reader sees them act upon their feelings, but does not understand what those feelings exactly are.
Writing Style :: 13/15
The chapters in this book are all quite short, which makes for a fast read. Shorter chapters, not always but usually, have less description as a lot of actions have to be explained in shorter text. In this case, the author writes descriptively despite having shorter text. Despite having four distinctive people point of views, the story is written in 3rd person, from the reader's point of view.
The book is casually written. After all, it is from the attitude of a highschooler, and that really comes across in the writing and overall vibe of the storyline.
Grammar :: 14/20
Right off the bat, there are a couple occurrences of missing punctuation. There are also instances of run-on sentences. However, I believe these are issues that can be overcome by proof reading.
There are also a couple spelling errors and unnecessary capitalizations in the later chapters. As this only happens more frequently later on, I strongly encourage you to check through your work more thoroughly.
Some errors in chapter 1:
Papers hanging from where'd you wouldn't expect them… Edited: Papers hanging from where you wouldn't expect them…
Standing up she went and sat on her bed having the diary in her hands Edited: Standing up, she went and sat on her bed with the diary in her hands
A smile made up her face Edited: A smile formed on her face
For the last one, you can add additional descriptions, such as: a smile lit up her face/a grin spreading/her face lit up. Rather than having a smile forming on her face, you can have it light up her expression. However, this is a writing style choice or vocabulary based issue so I won't deduct any marks.
TOTAL :: 70/100
Reviewer's Note :: Hello, there. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to review your work. I had a great time reading and enjoying your story, and sincerely hope the feedback will help you improve your story further! Feel free to pm me for clarifications.
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