𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]

sᴛᴏʟᴇɴ sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ  dynamic_dream
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ  burrito_in_bed

First Light :: 15/20

» Title :: 2/5

The title is quite uncommon, something unique that attracts the readers’ eyes. However, it doesn’t really match the plot much, as far as I’ve read it. When a reader starts the book after they read the title, they’d have different expectations from what was actually delivered.

[Suggestion/Correction : Readers usually pay attention to the title when they come across a book, so it is supposed to be catchy, but at the same time- something related to the plot itself. I suggest that you change the title into something more related to the plot while still keeping it unique.]

» Cover :: 10/10

The face claim is appropriate, the theme of the cover is apt and the cover also gives an idea of the plot. 

» Blurb :: 3/5

The dialogues from the story are well used and exciting to read. It makes the reader anticipate what comes in the story. However, the description wasn’t very interesting. It was quite bland. I suggest rewriting it in a different way so it’s more interesting.

[Suggestion/Correction : I suggest you add more interesting elements to it. The main theme is quite popular, and the blurb makes the plot seem cliche. Adding more interesting elements will make the blurb more engaging.]

Dawn :: 6/10

“The first impression is the best impression.” This impression is what will stay with the reader throughout the story, and if it is not well executed, readers will lose interest. It is necessary to make the starting very engaging so people continue reading the book with intrigue.

Your book starts with a short and crisp description of Jungkook, and small hints about Rose's personality. The buildup and introduction to the characters were great. However, the flow was a bit disrupted. There were a lot of events that came abruptly. The pace was very fast, which isn’t suitable for a book with a plot like this. The descriptions were also not very catchy, which I’ll elaborate in ‘characters and emotions’ criteria.

[Suggestion : Although the plot was quite well executed, the flow and pace were quite choppy. Many events occurred abruptly and flew by way too fast. This makes the readers a bit confused and doesn’t let the readers enjoy the essence of the plot. I suggest proofreading and looking for places where description can be improved. This will help reduce the pace and also lead to betterment in flow.]

Plot and Idea :: 13/20

The trope wasn’t anything unique or new. It was a mixture of two common tropes on wattpad- high school bullying and idols. There were parts where readers could predict the story, but it was executed well.

The disrupted pace and flow, however, made the plot less engaging. There were a few parts which were predictable, which made it bland and boring.

[Suggestion : Flow of a book keeps the reader engaged, so does pace. That’s why these are considered very important while writing the story. The flow and pace were disrupted in various places, which led to the story becoming bland. Proper editing and proofreading will help a lot. It will help you detect places where the pace and flow are disrupted, and add on a few more sentences to make the flow better.]

Characters and Emotions :: 10/15

The characters and emotions weren’t very relatable or understandable. This was due to the bland description. There were many places where it was easy to understand the characters, but there were a few places where slipping into the characters’ shoes was hard.

The vocabulary range wasn’t very wide, but it was correctly and appropriately used. But due to the vocab range not being wide, the writing became quite bland

[Suggestion : I suggest hunting for synonyms while you edit/proofread a particular passage to make the writing more refreshing. Repeating the same words over and over in various places will make the reader bored. I also suggest reading a few wattpad featured books. These usually have a great description. Reading this will give you more ideas on elaborating a character’s feelings through writing and will also help you find your style.]

Writing style :: 10/15

There were many places where I found that the description wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t very engaging or interesting to read. The plot twists were written at a really fast pace, which didn't allow readers to enjoy their essence. The POVs were quite confusing too. One moment, it's from Jungkook's POV and the next, it’s from Rose’s. THis confuses the readers and results in them ultimately losing interest.

[Suggestion : Proofreading will help you polish your sentences and improve description. A bit of research and more reading will help you get a hang of proper pace, flow and description. Description isn’t very easy, and you've already got a quite good hang of it. A bit more polishing and it’ll become perfect.]

Grammar :: 12/20

» Usage of Korean phrases/statements : This makes reading the statements a bit awkward. It isn’t a grammatical error exactly. However, using Korean phrases tends to be a bit weird. Readers may not know the meaning of these words and might have to search them up each time.

» Punctuation : Usage of periods instead of commas, and omission of commas were the most common punctuation errors that I found. Apart from this, there were a few places with improper capitalisation.

» Typos : there were various typos throughout the book, scattered here and there.

» Tense inconsistency : Tense inconsistency is when the tense of sentences changes throughout a paragraph. This is a common mistake that many people make.

[Suggestion : When it comes to punctuation and typos, the only way to correct them is editing. Proper editing can help you easily find mistakes and correct them. For the tense inconsistency, it needs a lot of practice. I suggest more reading so you can get a hang of it. When it comes to the usage of korean phrases, (like i already mentioned) it isn’t really a grammatical error. It is just a suggestion from my side to improve the book.]

TOTAL :: 66/100

Reviewer's Note :: The book was a good read. The plot, although a little predictable, was executed quite well. Your potential is clear from your writing. Just a few corrections here and there, and you’ll be good to go! With that said, I hope my review helped! All that I mentioned above was constructive criticism, and I don’t intend to offend or hurt you in any way. All your book needs is a bit of polishing, and you’ll be good to go. You can contact me if there are any doubts, or if I haven’t covered anything properly. Thank you, and all the best! :)

●◉◎◈◎◉●

Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.