No Regrets, Only Memories

Hidden Feelings of a Different Kind

Maeve

I spent the entire morning and afternoon of our Tuesday arrival in Shanghai going over last year's data. There were a lot of good things that could happen this week, but I had some work to do to highlight the finer pointers that the crew needed to pay attention to. From there, I moved onto my studies. Luckily this was the 21st century and I wasn't forced to lug around heavy books. They were all on my computer and it was plenty easy to go back and forth as needed.

I spent the entire night working on my thesis and the classes that I was required to complete. My only break was the short mealtime and the hour and a half workout I needed to do. Given that I had spent the night before drinking, I also tried to get a good rest before having to go to the track the next day. All of this was a great distraction to not have to talk to Daniel. I wasn't ready to face him in an honest, sober conversation where I might have to tell him what had happened with Christian.

The next day, I was more than happy to try and avoid Daniel again. He had filming obligations while I was able to work in the engineering briefing before finally meeting up with Michael for the assessment he had asked of me the day before.

"You're clearly stressed out. What do you do to relax?" Michael asked me as his hand moved across the back of my neck, trying to release whatever tension there was there as I laid on the physio table again.

"What's relaxing? Some of us have two jobs and school to worry about." I chuckled, hissing as he hit a very painful spot in my neck. It was clear that while I was joking, my body was not. I should've known sooner than Michael having to tell me my body was close to an injury, I had felt it at pre-season testing.

"That's part of the problem. I think you need to start doing something for yourself every once in a while." Michael moved so I could sit up on the physio table in my room.

"School is for me. It's important for my work." I reminded him as I leaned against the wall non table with my legs crossed.

"Sure, but maybe try having some fun while you're at it. I know I'm not Daniel, but I've been around you for a long time too. You've got to take some time for yourself, Maeve. Not Christian, Daniel, or the car," Michael dug through his bag and pulled out a variety of bottles and a pill calendar," I can't make you do that, but I can try and fix the damage you're doing to yourself in the meantime." I chuckled at that as he started dumping the pills into the pill calendar.

It wouldn't be that simple. It never was. I had too much work to just take a day to myself. It was hard enough to want to take the time for a movie or a dinner. I shouldn't have even taken the time to spend with Daniel the other night. My thesis was already taking a hit because I had to work on the car. I was just going to have to let Michael fix me the best he could.

"Not to be weird, but are you on any medications or anything that I should be aware of before giving you these supplements?" I laughed.

"We're adults Michael. I'm on birth control. I take it daily as a responsible adult that does not wish to have children at this age, would you like to see the bottle?" He shook his head with another laugh as he finished his organizing.

It was true, I had been on birth control since I was old enough to get the stupid pill. It was part of my daily routine and I could happily say I had only missed the pill once in my entire life. No part of me wanted to risk my studies or career to raise a child, but you needed another person for that and I had been dry for going on 5 months. No need for worry there.

"Ok, fine. Then these should be ok for you to take. It's the same ones Daniel takes, but the dosage is a little different. I give them to Daniel each day, but I'll do yours weekly. Just take them with your breakfast. This pack," He handed me a package containing tablets that looked a bit yellow and were oblong shaped," Take two before you get in the car. It's to help with your water retention. I'll change it up depending on the weather or if there are any concerns I have during the season. Got it?" I nodded and he packed everything up.