No Regrets, Only Memories

Podium Position

Maeve

I laid back against Daniel as he held me and cried a bit more, upset that it had taken me this long to tell my best friend about my life.

"Are you ok to get back to the bed? Maybe we can try and get just a few more hours of sleep tonight?" I nodded to agree with him after a few minutes and he pulled away, opening his arms so I could stand and he followed.

"Do you want me to hold you?" I nodded again as we approached the bed, him laying down first and me climbing in after him. He held me against his chest with both of his arms wrapped firmly around my waist without hesitation.

We sat in silence again, just breathing for what felt like hours. I wasn't sure if Daniel had fallen asleep until he tried to unwrap his arms from around me.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as I turned slightly to look at him.

"I don't want you to be upset if you wake up in my arms..." He bit his lip and I turned over fully in his arms to look at him.

"Please don't say that. I didn't mean to flinch. You just said you weren't my father and it put me into a weird mental place. I reacted before I realized what was happening..." I brought my hand up to his face, laying my palm flat against his cheek as I stared up at him. In a moment of weakness, his eyes closed and he leaned into my touch.

"I'm not upset that you did it, I'm upset that you weren't doing ok and didn't tell me. We just had a whole blow up specifically about us not communicating... I would've helped you know..." He reached up with his left hand to grasp my right from his cheek as he opened his eyes. Lacing our fingers together and bringing them to rest in the narrow space between us on the bed.

"It's not something you just come out with, Daniel. I would've told you sooner, but I didn't even know what to say." He didn't say anything and just looked down at our hands.

"I know. I-I'm sorry. This is your story and I appreciate you for telling me. I'd like to try and make it better. Is there anything I can do to help?" I shrugged.

"Unless you can make the media nicer, finish my dissertation, or make the car perfect, then no. I have to be a grown up about it and deal with it better." I bit my lip, feeling bad that I had shut down his attempt to help.

"This is the only thing I trust..." I pointed between us with the hand he was holding.

"This?" He asked, confused.

"This is where I feel safe. You are the closest thing to a real family that I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do without you most days and the fact that you were so worried about me that you tried to keep me close enough to keep an eye on me means more than I'll ever be able to explain." That made him give me a sad smile.

"I'll always be here for you Maeve. No matter what you need, I'll get it for you. All you have to do is ask..." He brought our hands up and kissed the back of mine before settling our hands back down on the mattress.

"I will. Next time I'll tell you if something is wrong. I promise." He nodded.

"Perfect. Can you try and get some sleep though? I need that more than anything from you right now. I can't have my best friend driving into a wall because they didn't get enough sleep." He pulled me in closer to him with his right arm and I just gave him a sad smile.

It was quiet after that. I'm not sure when I finally fell asleep, but I woke up to Daniel's phone going off early in the morning. I had finally slept for more than an hour. Daniel looked worse for wear though. He had been painstakingly keeping himself awake just to be there in case I needed something from him. He had proven time and time again that he cared about me. To the point of jeopardizing himself to make sure that I was ok. It didn't fare well for my already existing feelings for Daniel. It made me love him more than I already did.