calamity. (sequel to Mr. Reynolds)

40

"Well Juliet..." Tim trailed off. My eyes widened, expecting the worst. "Everything looks great! You're healing impeccably well and your stitches are ready to come out!" He smiled. I breathed a sigh of relief. "I will be back in just a few minutes to take them out."

Tim sent us on our way after putting a few steri strips over the scar. They would fall off on their own in a few days. Greyson and I rode back to the house in mostly silence but it was comfortable with his hand tracing light circles on my thigh aimlessly.

"I am very sorry to be leaving you." I said hugging Celia. She smiled widely, hugging me tightly. "I never thought I'd see the day Greyson got married. But you are more beautiful and loving than I could have ever imagined. I'm so glad he's found you and it's been a real pleasure having you my dear. I look forward immensely to the next time you visit." She squeezed me tightly.

We were leaving early in the morning and I had told Celia not to worry about making breakfast as it would be pointless for her to wake up so early. She simply said she'd bake us some goods to take the night before despite my protests. I'd really miss her and this place but I was more than happy to be going home, especially after everything that's happened.

I played with Greysons fingers as we laid there. "I'm sorry this trip didn't go as planned, angel." He said softly. I turned my head to look up at him and placed a light kiss on his jawline. "Nothing ever does. But despite everything I'm glad I got to spend time in this beautiful place." He lightly laughed. His smile kind of faded as he played with my hair. I knew what he was thinking about. I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been on my mind as well. "We can talk about it if you want." I said softly. "I know how hard it must be for you to process that, please don't think we can't talk about it because you don't want me feeling guilty." I continued. His eyes searched mine for a minute before a smile smile cracked on his features as he pulled me closer. "I never thought I wanted kids, you know? Most of my life I thought they'd be a distraction and I'd end up resenting them if I ever had them. But when I met you and everything else started falling into place I felt differently. All of the things about the typical suburban family that seemed so silly to me before I started to see with you." I listened as he twirled pieces of my hair around his fingers. "When we found out about the miscarriage I thought I was heartbroken over the fact we lost a child. But I've realized that it's not losing a baby that crushed me. I was so attached to the idea of having kids with you because I don't ever want to lose you. And if one day you decide you don't want me, at least I'd have a piece of you with me. I've never felt so reliant and attached to a person before and it scares the shit out of me Jules. If something were to happen to you...I really don't know what I'd do. I can't picture a life without you anymore. I'd do anything for you. So just know, though it's unfortunate we lost the baby- my reaction to it was more about you than anything. Believe me when I say I am more than okay with our family as it is now if I have you with me."

~

To say I was dead the next morning was an understatement. I was extremely tired and didn't want to cooperate so Greyson treated me like a child and carried me to the plane and put me to bed. I could tell he wasn't much pleased with my mood but he was dealing with it since I was still an injured baby bird in his eyes. Which in this situation, worked to my advantage. I laid in the bed on the plane and I heard the faint talking coming from the boys up front.

After our little talk last night I had a weird pit in my stomach. I am satisfied now that Greyson can be okay without having kids. But him being so open about his emotions and everything had me feeling guilty. Guilty for not being as honest and open with him as he was with me.

I had weird dreams last night I was trying to forget and didn't sleep very well but now that I was laying here in the dark they were the only thing I could think of. I could only remember pieces of them but telling Greyson about my little "road-trip" as a teenager had brought up some other memories I had pushed out of my head a long time ago. And unfortunately they were now consuming me. I had been so persistent about Greyson knowing about my family history before we got married I never even thought about all of the other things. Granted I'm pretty sure I repressed most of those memories. The story of me killing that man was unfortunately not the only horrible thing I did on that trip. Or after it for that matter. I had never even considered telling anyone about them but it slipped out to Greyson. But the crazy thing about that is I knew Greyson wouldn't judge me for it, he wouldn't feel ashamed of me. It felt easy and natural to spill my deepest darkest secrets to him. Maybe because I knew Greyson had his own demons he hadn't shared and I was okay with that, because I had many more of mine as well. But something deep inside of me was telling me that there's a reason I'm being reminded of them now. And I know nothing good can come from it.