The Story Of Us

Just A Shadow

Y/n's POV:

"I'm gonna go now!" I heard my wife's voice echoed through our house, but before I can even bid my farewell, the sound of the door closing went in my ear, making me know that she's already gone.

I sighed as I continue the laundry I have been doing.

Scarlett would always give me a kiss and a hug before we separate our ways. I remember in our first start of relationship, she's the first one to say 'I Love You' and she would say; "I didn't said that to hear it back, just wanted to make sure you knew." Now, she didn't even wait for my response.

I don't know what happened, she just became so busy at work, we promised and vowed to give each other enough time and all, but I guess, promises really does fade until it's forgotten.

It's been going on for 7 months now, we barely even have time for each other, I mean, me, I always have time, I always made sure to have time, she's the one who don't have. She barely even talked to me, whenever she does, it's just a short conversation, sometimes it's not even about us, it's always about work and work and other things. And we're constantly fighting here and there about stupid things.

Whenever she's home, she just do her work, sometimes she would hang out with her co-workers and other friends, yes, she would make me tag along, but it's still the same like at home, she makes me feel like a shadow that would follow her around.

I mean, I know work is important, but we promised to keep up and have time with each other, no matter what the circumstances is.

I always try and try and try to bond with her again, just like old times, but it's no work. When we would sleep, we would still cuddle, but she's barely home, so it's not always. We barely even kiss nowadays.

In all honesty, i'm getting tired of it all. Sometimes I let my mind drift to the worse things that could happen and the worse reason why this is happening and I would cry myself to sleep. I would cry and cry until I can't anymore.

This marriage was amazing, I don't know what went wrong, but I do know that I didn't do anything to make it go like this.

I know I should confront her about this and talk it through, but i'm scared, I had already been through so much in my past married life with different people, and it didn't went all well. And at last, Scarlett and I became one, and it's the best thing.

That's why i'm scared, I don't want to lose her, I don't want our marriage to end up like my past marriage. But, i'm tired of it, like really tired, and sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore.

My friends would say to talk to her, but as months go by, some of them tells me to just let go of this marriage, because they said this relationship looks like a one sided love already.

I don't want to believe it, I don't want to get that in my mind, but it's exactly what it feels like.

I just don't know if I can still hold on, on this marriage like this.

After I finish with my chores, my phone went off, I looked at it and Lizzie's name came up, so I answered it with a smile.

"Hi, Liz, how are you?" I said cheerfully.

"Hey, I've been doing good, thanks. How about you?" I heard her say from the other line, and I can feel her smiling through her voice.

"Good. Yeah. Just...fine." I said, trying to cover the sadness at my voice at the thought of what has been going on in my life.

But I know, Lizzie know me too well to not notice it.

"Hey, are you okay? Is it still the same?" She ask sighing sadly.

Lizzie is one of my best friends that knows what has been going on in my life. She's always by my side.

"Yes, I don't really know what to do, but yeah, I just hope this stops sooner, because I can't handle our situation anymore. By the way, why'd you call? Is there anything you need?" I said cutting our topic as I don't want to talk about how shitty my marriage is.

"Nothing. Just wanted to check on you. But, hey, i'm always here, okay? You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to, you can call me whenever, okay?" She said and I can hear the sincerity lacing through her voice.

"Yeah, I know, thank you Liz." I said smiling.

We just talked for hours as I don't have something to do, same as her.

I'm amaze on how she can make me laugh and smile, even with the circumstances i'm in right now.

"You know, you can just leave her if you can't do it anymore, right? And before you say anything, I know it's not that easy. Nothing is easy when it comes to love. But you should know that, not every white flag is easy to wave. There are things that we don't want to be done, but we need to put an end to." She said and I sigh, knowing she's...right.

I don't want to think that she's right, I want to tell her that she's wrong, but I can't.

"I know, I know, it's just- I just- I don't know- it's- it's hard, it's so hard. Our marriage is so different than any other marriages I had, this took an impact on me, with who I am, and I don't know what I will do without her, I just- I don't know where I will start with waking up knowing we're not together anymore." I said as tears continuesly slip out of my eyes.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Just always remember that i'm here, we're here, your family, your friends, me. There's so many people who loves you unconditionally, and all those people will be by your side in every steps you will make, okay?....especially me. I got you, Y/n. I got you." She said and it just make my chest feel lighter.

She always knows how to make me feel better.

But she just don't understand how much I love Scarlett. She's my lifeline, my person, yes, there's so many people who loves me, but they are not Scarlett.

After some time, we hang up, not before saying goodbye, and I just realized that we talked for 3 hours already.

Cleaning the house and doing some chores took 4 hours of my time, I didn't really eat because I have no energy to, I just don't want to, and now 3 hours of calling lizzie, it's 7 hours, meaning that it's already 7 hours when Scarlett had gone out.

She's supposed to be back before 7, it's still 6, so, I decided to make dinner, I made it especial, I made her favorite dishes, hoping she will like it and maybe after dinner we can watch a movie.

I waited and waited for her, but when the clock turned 9 and there's still no signs of Scarlett, I quickly texted her, but the sound of the door opening stopped me, revealing a very exhausted Scarlett.

"Hey, you're late." I said softly going over to her.

"Yeah, sorry, lost track of time." She said taking out her boots after she took off her coat.

"Oh...okay, I cooked your favorite food, it's probably cold now, but I can just re-heat it." I said waiting for her kiss, but I never received it.

"No, thank you, I already ate, I just want to rest. Good night." She said and went upstairs, I just sigh and go to the kitchen then put the foods in the refrigerator as I don't like wasting food.

I went to our room only to find her already changed and sleeping, I clean up and did my routine then lay beside her. Usually, even if she's already sleeping, she would wrap her arms around me and never let go, and I missed that. Just the thought of it makes some tears slip out of my eyes.

Maybe I should just let this go, i'm tired of  feeling being use like this, i'm just so tired of this that I can't even explain how tired I am.

Besides, i'm the only one who keeps up this relationship.

She's so close to me, yet so far away, and I can't do anything to be near her even though we're just inches apart already.