The Story Of Us

Suffering In Silence

No one's POV:

After the talk Y/n had with Vanessa, she stayed for another hour at the woman's house before completely deciding to leave and bid her goodbye. Along the way home, as she drive, she can't help but think about the story that Vanessa had told her, the messy, chaotic, sad and depressing state of Scarlett, in Vanessa's words, didn't left her mind as she kept thinking and thinking on how and what Scarlett might've felt going through that phase.

She doesn't want to feel sorry for Scarlett, she wants to be selfish, she doesn't want to pity the woman who she gave her love, but wasted it like sa rag, the woman who she thought her forever, but hurt her like no one has ever before.

She expected so much from Scarlett, she expected so much for their relationship, she'd do anything for the older woman, even if it meant for her to stay with Scarlett even if she's already feeling abandoned and pained along the way.

She experienced so many rough things to along those 5 years, she experienced so much more than Scarlett, well, let's just say they both did experienced a lot, but how come does it seems like Y/n is the only one who cares? Does Scarlett thought about learning and seeking on what had happened to Y/n in those 5 years?

Well, Y/n knows that maybe she didn't, or more likely, she couldn't. I mean, she cut everything off with Scarlett and to the world, so she couldn't she blame anyone but her, but she only thinks that it's for the best.

Though, a part of her felt somewhat guilty. In her stay in here with Avery, ever since she saw Scarlett, she can't help but think how selfish she is, and now that she knew what Scarlett had been through.

She only thought about herself. Her own pain. Her own need and want. She didn't thought about Scarlett. About her little girl who will surely ask about her other parent anytime soon.

She was given the privilege to have a complete and perfect family, and it hurts her at the thought of not being capable of giving Avery the same. Jealous and sadness was all she can think of when she tried seeing herself in Avery's position, not having a complete family like the other kids. And it pained her so much, her heart aches at the thought of not giving her little girl the thing Avery might've needed the most.

And then there's Scarlett, her pity for Scarlett didn't go away, no matter how much bad she thought of Scarlett. Suddenly, she just wants all the happy memories to come back to her, because a part of her is already deciding on giving Scarlett a full chance of being Avery's parent, because after all, no matter what happens, Scarlett will still have her own rights as a mother of Avery. And maybe, remembering those beautiful memories with the older woman can soften her heart towards Scarlett.

She's overthought everything, and it was like a huge truck crashing her head as she suddenly realized;

She's not the only one in this relationship, there's Scarlett, and especially now, there's Avery.

And she knew damn well that she'll give Avery everything and anything, even if it meant for her to introduce Scarlett as her other mother.

It aches her heart at the thought of being so selfish like this, she doesn't want to be like this, only considering about her feelings, what about Scarlett? Who, maybe, now, deserve a chance from her, not to be her partner, but a mother to her daughter. And Avery? Who deserves everything in this world, she wants Avery to grown up like how she grew up.

God, how can she be this inconsiderate?

She doesn't want to beat herself out of this, i mean, she's not the one who caused this turbulence at the first place after all, but she can't help it. Her heart and brain says the otherwise, and she can't fully decide, her brain knows what to do already, but the fear in her heart says the otherwise. What does she fear anyways? Getting hurt by Scarlett? Damn, she already knows what Scarlett wanted, it's Avery, but Scarlett's words are planted in her mind.