"Good Girl" (l.r.h)

31

•Luke's POV•

I lit the green lighter, putting the end of the blunt into the flame. I sucked in, cupping my hand behind the flame so it wouldn't go out. When I felt the smoke fill my cheeks I let the light go out and took the blunt out of my mouth. I breathe the smoke out of my mouth, feeling if pass through my newly pierce lip ring. I look over at Cal, we were sitting on a balcony at a hotel. The other two boys were inside going through fan mail. I smile a little big more, starting to feel the high, "You want some Cal?" I laugh and Calum looks at me he sighs.

"No thanks Luke," I just shrug and take another hit.

"More for me." I was planning to get high, then drunk, so I can forget about Maggie, and Arabella. Maybe Arabella wasn't my daughter. Maybe when I went away for a little bit to start this band, she slept with other guys. Maybe her death really wasn't my fault. I took another hit while Calum scrolled through his phone. Soon Ashton came out with something in his hand, I offered him my blunt, but he turned it down.

"I have a letter for you Luke," he says handing me a letter, I put the blunt in an ashtray, taking the letter from his hand. I open it and my heart shatters a little. It was a picture of Arabella holding a sign, written on it was "Daddy's #1 Fan". She was only one, and the hand writing was neat, Janet (Maggie's mom) must have written it. She had the biggest smile on her face, and my face went pale.

"She loves you Luke," Ashton said and I gulped. Then bursts out into tears, I dropped the picture and brought my knees up to my chest. I hid my face in my knees and just cried.

"What do I do?" I cried and look at Ashton, he was kneeling next to me.

"You need to stop getting high and drinking. You need to get better, and then you need to be part of her life." He says and Calum is now also by my side rubbing my back.

"But what if I fuck up? What if she leaves me, like Maggie? What if I end up hurting her? Hurting myself?" I say, Calum gets up and goes into the house to get me some tissues.

"Luke, you didn't kill Maggie, she just couldn't get through it. It's not your fault." Ashton whispers and touches my shoulder. He's the only one who knows what happened to Maggie, he was there with me when she died. The other two just thought she ran away, that she didn't want to be with me. I wasn't planning to tell them.

"I need to get better." I whisper and hug Ashton, "I want to be part of her life."

"LUKE! Luke! Wake up!" I hear a banging on my door and I shoot up, breathing heavily. "Luke please let me in!" It's Lizzie, I look around my room to see it covered with bear cans and broken shit.

"Lizzie, please go." I say and lay back down facing the wall. I hear the door knob jiggle, then have it open and close. I sigh and keep my eyes shut. "Lizzie." I say and I can hear cans being moved. I look up to see her picking up the cans. "Lizzie stop." She doesn't listen, she just keeps picking them up and looks over at my overflowing trash can. Her lips goes to one side and she walks out of the room, in a few minutes she's back with a big black garbage bag and a broom. She keeps picking up the cans and dumping them into the bag. She looks over at me and brushes her brown hair out of her eyes.

"You going to help?" Lizzie asks looking at me laughing. I smile and get up dumping the stuff in the trash into the bag. "You know what we need?" She laughs taking her iPhone 5s out of her back pocket from her blue jeans. She presses a button and Daylight comes on making me laugh.

We both start to sing, and by the time three songs had passed my room was clean, Lizzie had took my sheets and comforter to throw them in the wash. She told me to take a shower because I smelled, I just laughed and did as I was told.

So when I'm done in my shower I wrap my towel around my waste walking into my closet. I look around dropping the towel and throwing on boxers. I then throw on some flannel pants and a black shirt. I go to the bathroom, and brush the alcohol off my teeth. I brush my hair, gelling it up into my usual quiff.

There's a knock on my door, and I look over at it staying quiet. "Luke? It's me." Lizzie says, "Are you out of the shower?"

"Yeah." I say and the door opens and she walks in. Closing the door behind her. She plops down on my bed, and looks at me.

"How you feeling?" She asks and I nod my head.

"Better than before." I say and lay down on the bed.

"You know it does get better Luke, you just need to get better." Lizzie says and I nod my head.

"For a fourteen year old, you have a really smart mind." I laugh.

"Thanks bro." She says and lays down next to me hugging my side.

"I really want you to get better Luke." She says and I just nod my head, "Everyone does."

"I know, I want to get better too." I say and close my eyes.

"Luke, what happened with Arabella?" Lizzie asks and I sigh.

"I was a scared teenager. I feel bad for leaving her." I say.

"Why are your fans so important to you?" I smile at the thought of the picture.

"A year after Arabella was born, I use to get high and drunk because I felt like it was me who killed Maggie, she was my everything." I take a deep breathe, "Then one day I got a letter from Arabella that had a picture in it, with her holding a sign that said 'Daddy's number one fan'. After that I realized that none of this was our fault, mine and Ara's, and the fans are really the ones who love me. No matter what I go through they will always love me, that's why they mean everything to me." I say and I can tell she's smiling.

"Only if they really knew you." She says and I open my eyes looking at her.

"Hey! I thought you were suppose to help me get better!" I laugh and she smiles hugging me again.

"I'm happy they don't though, because your my brother, mine only." I smile.

"Thanks Lizzie."

"No problem bro."