THE SWEET KIND OF WRONG

CHAPTER 20

JANE...

I come back later the same Sunday with Erika, it is already full with guests, most of which are Adrian's friends from his school. We put the things we bought for him in their rightful places and after we're done, we make our way upstairs to get changed then join others in the swimming pool. My mind is still on mission processing things over, I don't know what I'm going to do with the two guys in my life. I like Nathan, he's great, really great but then at the same time there's Luke whom I am head over hills in love with but he can't be mine, I can't be his. Why? We're family, we're a freaking family. It's frustrating and I'm tired of it, I'm tired of feeling this way. He loves me, he confessed it himself but I couldnt say it back to him. Just thinking about this thing of ours not being able to be together makes me sick to my stomach. This is not fair, not fair at all. In fact life is not fair.

"Did you invite Nathan?" Erika asks.

"Yeah, I did...but he didn't reply." I stand in front of the mirror finger combing my hair. "So I'm guessing he's not coming. I don't know." I continue, staring intensely at the person in the mirror, in front of my eyes. I feel so out of place. I don't know the person I'm looking at, I am not the Jane I used to be. I don't know who I am anymore. When did I become this human being? I can't begin to describe how I look, how I'm feeling. I'm just lost. The reflection that I see does not look like me, not even a little bit. What happened to Jane? Where is she? I'm looking for her but I can't find her.

I never knew not being single was so devastating. If someone had told me, I wouldn't have believed them.

"So you just let him be?" I shake my head and look at Erika.

"What?" I lean back on the mirror stand.

"Are you okay, Jane?"

"Yes I'm fine. Can we go now?" I head to the door and leave my room. Walking through the corridor, Erika follows behind me. I stop in my tracks when I see Luke coming towards me in nothing but shorts and obviously naked on top.

Of course he always has to be freaking sexy, such a tease. My heart races at the sight, he's perfect. His silk hair is messy and not in place, few strands falling on his forehead. Damn... He removes his eyes from his phone and looks up and stops. His sparkling blue eyes staring at me. So much emotion swells through my body and suddenly my breath hitches, so much heat burn through my cheeks. The effect this guy has on me.

"Jane, come on." Erika pulls my arm and we continue walking down the corridor and the staircase, making our way to the backdoor where the others are.

"The love of my life. How I missed you." Louis teases, engulfing me into his embrace and lifting me off the ground. He's the whole vibe, I enjoy his company so much, he's so carefree.

"I know, I know I missed you too." I reply, laughing. I pour a drink for myself and Erika and we all join others near the swimming pool, music playing on loud volume. I see Adrian with all his friends in the pool, he's having fun and I find myself smiling. Adrian is sweet and adorable, I love him so much. Just then I see Nathan and Amanda coming towards us, he looks normal like nothing happened, he's even laughing with Amanda. I don't know how to start talking to him, I don't even know what to say. I'm embarrassed to face him after the other night.

"There's your boyfriend. Maybe it's time you talked to him. Apologize maybe?" Erika tells me.

"What am I going to say?"

"Just talk to him." She pushes me towards Nathan. It takes me all the strength I have to drag my feet and make my way to Nathan. While I approach him, he looks my way and forces a smile. Reaching him, I return a genuine plus guilty smile.