THE SWEET KIND OF WRONG

CHAPTER 28

JANE...

I feel so lost and unhappy and frustrated when I enter my room with Erika by my side. I blame myself for being so careless, I should've been more careful. Now Luke left me in the hospital, he's not even answering my calls, his phone is off. I guess that's what you get when you forget to take your birth control pills for just one day. The look he gave, he hates me for sure, he was ready to murder me. I hate myself too for doing this to him, it's my fault and now I'm dealing with the consequences.

I reach for my phone and call him again, this time, it doesn't even ring, it's gone completely off.

What have I done?

Erika sits besides me and wraps an arm around me, rubbing my back, "He will be back, friend. Just give him time to process this."

"Erika, you saw the way he looked at me, he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, he's just overwhelmed."

I snort at her attempt to make me feel better. I don't feel better, I feel like shit, I feel guilty, I feel like I just disappointed Luke, my mom, my dad, and everyone. Luke probably thinks I'm trying trap him with a baby.

"Overwhelmed? You call that overwhelmed? That's pure hatred, he looked at me like I was some disgusting thing, like he regrets being with me." I pace around the room feeling conflicted. I should've stopped this from the very beginning, I should've stopped me and Luke from happening, that way I wouldn't be pregnant, he would be happy with Hope and I would've been with...with Nathan.

Shit!

I still haven't broken up with Nathan yet.

Now I'm pregnant, ten weeks pregnant and it's not his. I've never slept with him.

What am I going to do? What have I gotten myself into? How will I get out of it? There's a baby involved now, I have to think carefully before I make a decision and it's going to be hard.

I've never felt so lost in my life ever. I feel like my life is ending right in front of me.
This is why I avoided dating, situations like these always end badly. I don't know why I thought this was going to be different to what I've seen out there. What hurts the most is that this is my first relationship, Luke was my first everything and now it's over.
My heart is in shambles. Why is nothing so not damn easy with me?

"Jane, come on. You can't carry on like this. You don't need him." Erika tries with all her might to comfort me and somehow I'm grateful for her friendship and her love for me. But right now it's not working, it's not fucking working.

An idea crosses my mind and I immediately grasp it with wide open arms and a heavy heart. It's the only way for now. "Can I spend the weekend with you?"

"Sure."

"I don't wanna face anyone for now, especially my mom, she'll be asking a million questions and I am so not in the mood for an interrogation."

"No problem, I get it. You also need to come to terms with your... yeah so... let's just go."

. . .

The weekend away from home and in Erika's house was definitely needed, I feel so much better compared to Friday when I first heard I was pregnant. I was falling apart especially with Luke walking out on me without saying a word. I feel so alive, I'm not fully okay with the way things are but it's a first step forward.

Erika made sure I was okay from the moment we arrived at her house, she tried everything to cheer me up. Even though some of  her attempts were in vain, I found myself slowly giving in and eventually I was smiling and laughing. I'm grateful for my best friend. We even took a chance to joke about my pregnancy, coming up with baby names, Erika insisting that I make her the godmother. She even promised to spoil my child rotten. I found myself slowly adjusting to the fact that there's a little human being growing inside me. A cute angel that I will love for the rest of my life, an angel that will change my life forever. One I vow to protect from the cruel world we live in.