THE SWEET KIND OF WRONG

CHAPTER 29

JANE...

My life still feels like it's ending by the end of the week, Luke still hasn't come back home, his phone is still off. I'm trying my utmost best to hold it together and not sell myself out to my mom and Roger. It's not easy and it doesn't seem like it is going to get any easier anytime soon. It's a fucking hurricane and tsunami all at once, attacking me from all sides, I can't find my way out.

I can't sleep, I'm always crying. Why? Because I miss him so much it hurts. I know it sounds foolish, he walked out on me but I can't help it, being with him makes everything seem easy like nothing will ever go wrong.
I can't even focus on my studies, I am a mess, a whole fucking mess.

I open the books in front of me as I go through the English Shakespeare topics we were given to come up with an essay. My mind is not really registering on anything, I'm exhausted.

"Are you okay, honey?" Mom asks as she sits at the edge of my small table.

I hum in response, not even raising my head to look at her, "Mm-hmm."

"Jane, baby. I'm your mother, we used to talk about anything, we are best friends, you and I."

"And then you got married so we're not really besties now, are we?"

"What?" She exclaims, shocked by my response. "Jane, I thought you were finally okay with my marriage."

"Of course, I am more than okay, I am content with our new life, it's amazing, it's great, it's spectacular." I laugh hysterically, tears flowing down my face uncontrollable. "Mom, leave me alone." I stand up from my chair and wander around the room,feeling my chest tighten.

She gulps, standing up, clearly not believing the words that just left my mouth, "Janet?"

Hell, I cannot believe what I just said. "Mom, I'm..." I start, trying to calm down. My heart beating frantically fast in my chest like it is going to burst out of me any minute, I can't seem to manage to cool down until my mom decides to help me sit on my bed. She helps me to take a few breaths in and out, which is a struggle at first but as I keep going on, I start feeling slightly better.

When everything has cooled down in me, I turn to my mom with a sad little grin, one that does nothing to match my eyes.
She cups my face in her soft palms and stares at me with so much love and tenderness and affection and... I feel guilty for what I've done with Luke, her step son, my step- I can't even consider calling him my brother.

"I wish there was an easy way to tell you this, mom, but there's none." I start lowly, my voice barely reaching my own ears.
If only I could turn back the hands of time, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. But... I made this bed, I caused this, I carried on when I should've been fighting it. I opened my legs for Luke to fill that big, delicious and... Great. Now I'm thinking about Luke's dick and how it feels inside me, hitting that spot that makes me surrender my whole being to him, begging him to go harder.

Stop it.

The point is, I need to take responsibility for my actions and learn to live with the consequences. It shouldn't be hard right? I mean a lot of people get pregnant everyday. The population in America is more than Luke's sperms.
But a lot of people aren't pregnant by their step brothers, they know better than that. And my mom will surely disown me after this.
Great.

"What do you want to tell me, honey?"

"Umm... Mom, I..." I stutter, not really sure how to start blasting the bomb on her face. She is going to kill me and bury me without anyone knowing.