THE SWEET KIND OF WRONG

CHAPTER 25

JANE...

"Thank God, it's Saturday."

I mumble to myself as I make my way to the living room with a big container of vanilla ice cream in my hand. I make myself comfortable on the sofa, climbing with my legs on and turn the TV on, watching Love and Hip Hop New York, I love that show. Mom and Roger went to California for the weekend just to spend time together. Advantages of being a rich surgeon and a businessman, you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want abd however you want. Adrian went to his friend's house, Luke went to a basketball practice and I'm left with Monica. She's been busy going around this huge house. Honestly I don't know what she's cleaning her everyday, it's not like this house is always dirty. But whom am I to judge? I'm just like her, I like my room spotless.

I'm surprisingly lazy lately and I don't know why and I hate it. I haven't been exercising for the past three days. I have four assignments and I only did one, I'm procrastinating on the other ones. I already decided I'm not doing the Math one, Luke will help me if I feel like doing it or he'll do it himself then I'll just copy the whole thing.

My phone bips, notifying me of a text message. I check it out and find Nathan's text reminding me of our lunch. I completely forgot about it, we're supposed to be meeting for lunch. Apparently he wanted to spend time with so maybe that's exactly what I need, to go out for a little bit. I have yo tell him the truth and I have no idea how. This whole thing is weighing me down. I hate lying to him, he's such a great guy. I text him back, agreeing to meet him. I don't even understand why God made Luke my step brother and not Nathan. Everything would fine now.

.

I get to the coffee shop and find Nathan waiting for me outside near the entrance. He stands up and hugs me then kisses my cheek. Great, exactly what I need right now. I take my seat across him and silence fills the space, awkward silence if I might add. I have no idea what to say to him, I'm just confused and lost. I want to tell him but it's hard, I can't bring myself to break his heart. What the hell am I suppose to do now?

He sits there, facing me with a smile on his face, a bright, warm and genuine smile. His eyes glimmering and sparkling like there's stars in them. Oh my word. I'm screwed. There's no way to say what I want to say without breaking his heart. I can be aggressive and just tell him, that will break his heart, I can as soft and convincing as I wish to be, still that's gonna destroy him, either way I'm fucking screwed. I had no idea love triangles were like this.

I remember when I used to say, if I found myself in situations like these, I'd choose the one I love and leave the other one. Huh! Like that would be easy to do. I'm in that same situation now, I'm in love with my step brother and I have a boyfriend on the side. I'm going to hell for sure. There's no way God will forgive me for this, I will never forgive myself for this so-

"Are you okay?" He asks, diverting my attention to him. I stare at his eyes and try my best to hold my gaze and look normal. Not today, Jane, don't tell him today. My inner voice says and like the idiot that I am, I obey it.

"I'm good... I'm good." I reply.

Being here with him feels wrong, it's like I'm cheating on Luke, I don't know know but it doesn't feel right. If I don't tell him today, when will I tell him? When the time is right, yes that's good.

Idiot, the time is never wrong. Just spill the beans and spare him the heartaches.

My conscious mind tells me but my subconscious mind tells me no. There's no way to spare him a heartache, he will be heartbroken anyway and it will be my fault. Great, this is not difficult at all. Who am I kidding though? I am literally on the verge of peeing on my pants and embarrass myself.