THE SWEET KIND OF WRONG

CHAPTER 34

JANE...

I stand in front of the door as I wait for Nathan or his mother to open up. I last saw Nathan at Hope's house when he found out about Luke and I and that was four days ago. I have been dreading this day but today, I finally got the courage to come. I have to apologize to Nathan whether I like it or not, I owe him that much. I broke his heart and trust, he didn't deserve what I did to him. I should've told him sooner before we became serious... well sort of serious because I never saw him more than once a week.
Gosh I'm such a horrible person.

The door finally opens as I am about to take a step back and go back home. To be honest, I kind of hoped that no one would answer the door so that I wouldn't have to do this. But it's too late now, Nathan stands in front of me with a murderous look I've ever received from him. He hates me, I know he does and do I blame him? No, I don't blame him, I would hate me too if I were in his shoes.

"Jane, what are you doing here?" His demeanor doesn't change, he keeps a straight face as he stares at me like he's going to murder me right here, right now.

"Nathan, please, I need to talk to you." I say. "Please,"  I plead, hoping he will at least give me five minutes maybe... just to apologize and explain the situation to him. Not that five minutes will be enough time for me to tell him everything. But a girl can only hope.

"I don't want to talk to you, Jane."

"Then don't, just please listen."

"What difference will it make? You lied to me time and time again, you broke my heart."

"I wanted to tell you, I swear I did."

"When? When you got pregnant for him? Is that it?"

"Nathan I..."

"I don't wanna hear it, just go back to him."

He's not making this easy for me and he has every to make me kneel on my knees and beg him. Not that I would kneel down though.

I breath out, dropping my eyes to the floor then look back at him. "I understand you're angry, I do. I betrayed you so bad but please just give me a chance to explain."

"Go home, Jane."

"It was never my intention to hurt you, it just happened, I couldn't..."

"Jane."

"Let me finish. I wanted to tell you so many times but I couldn't do it."

"Why me?" He asks lowly.

"It's not the fact that I chose you, everything just... I don't know. I got overwhelmed and I thought by not telling you I was doing the right thing so I kept quite."

"Still doesn't change anything, does it?"

"No it doesn't, I tried to fight my feelings for Luke, I really did but I failed. When I met you I thought maybe seeing someone else would make it easier for me to break it off with Luke but it didn't, instead the more I denied my feelings for him, the more I fell for him and I could no longer control it."

"So you knew you were in love with the douche and you continued to make a fool out of me either way?"

"I'm so so sorry, Nathan, I am. It won't change anything, I know but..." I let out a long sigh. "I'm really sorry for hurting you. And I guess that's all I came here to say. Have a good day." I turn and walk away, part of me hopes that he'll stop me from leaving and say that he understands but disappointment surges through me when he doesn't, instead I hear the door closing from a distance. I guess he really didn't want to talk to me.