How could he take time off work to teach me to ride yeontan if he didn’t care about me? How could he sleep with me and chase away my nightmares if I meant nothing to him? How could he kiss me but not anyone else?
Maybe I gave him too much credit.
Maybe he’d been right from the beginning.
He wasn’t evil, but he wasn’t good either.
I knew I wasn’t just upset about his promiscuity. I was upset that I didn’t mean more to him.
Living with him every single day forced me to enjoy his company. I enjoyed watching his concentration as he worked, and I enjoyed talking with him over dinner.
I even enjoyed the sex. Last time he was in my bed, I asked him to make love to me—and he did. I wasn’t even sure why I asked that. I wasn’t sure why his presence chased away my fear.
But it did.
And knowing he wanted to be with some other woman after the connection we created hurt.
It hurt a lot.
But I wasn’t going to let him hurt me anymore. There wasn’t much I could do about my current situation. I was stuck there for the indefinite future. But I needed to lock away my vulnerability and never let him hurt me again.
If he wanted to be with other women, then he couldn’t have all of me.
Not anymore.
I didn’t sleep that night and went to the stables in the morning. Felix was there, and he talked to me about the horses and work that needed to be done.
