My Pretty Girl <3

Disassociated

"Atlas, we're here." I heard Kilas voice say from the drivers seat. I opened my eyes and saw that we were at school. I frowned and looked over at her and she smiled gently.

"You drank some advil, it'll go away soon." She said in reference to my hangover from last night. I don't even remember how I got so drunk last night, all I remember was chatting with Miss Foltz for a bit before falling asleep.

"How much alcohol did you let me have?" I said playfully. Kila looked away from me and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Sorry." She said.

"It's fine, it's just a hangover." I sighed, turning my head to massage it with my fingers. The car filled with silence for a bit before I groaned.

"Is it really that bad?" Kila responded, sounding a bit aggravated. I shook my head.

"It's not because of my head." I mumbled. Kila, was doing her mascara and didn't seem to care for me to elaborate, so I stayed silent. Floating in my own scary thoughts about today. There's a good possibility that I might bump into Sam and I don't want that to happen at all.

I watched as people headed inside the building. After a while she sighed and screwed the cap to her mascara back on, turning to me and smiling.

"Let's go." She said, getting out the car while grabbing her purse and backpack, I grabbed my backpack and got out of the car. I scanned the groups of people walking ahead of us to make sure Sam wasn't in it. Then rolled my eyes at myself because there was no reason Sam would be walking into the building from the student parking lot.

We got inside the building and everybody was already on their way to class. Kila placed her hand on my shoulder. I looked at her and she smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. After pulling away I looked at her.

"What was that for?" I asked as she smiled at me.

"No reason, have a good day. I'll see you at lunch." She said before staring at me for a moment and then walking away, I watched as she left, a small smile forming on my face before I sighed and turned back around to head to my class.

I felt frozen as I turned around and was face to face with Sam. She looked down at me, frozen for a second before she continued to walk in the opposite direction of me. I swallowed what felt like shards of glass in my throat as I continued walking.

I couldn't read her face. She didn't look sad. She didn't looked happy or upset or mad. She was just looking. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into the skin of my palm. Fuck her. She doesn't love me anymore and I have to move on.

I continued walking, but my legs took me to a different destination than I intended. I heard the late bell ring as I entered the empty bathroom. I grunted as I threw my backpack inside a stall before entering and locking myself inside of it. I slid down against the wall and held my head in my hands, gripping my hair at the scalp.

Angry tears exited my eyes as I struggled to catch my breath.

Seeing her did things to me. Bad things. Why couldn't I have her? Why didn't she love me? Was it my fault? Maybe.. just maybe it was my fault. But how do I fix it?

Rubbing my face with my fingers, I felt a flip switch inside of me. I stood up and exited the stall, grabbed my bag and walked out. I walked out of the bathroom, and then out of the hallway, and then out of the school. I couldn't stay there any longer or else I was gonna end up in Sams vicinity again and it would've pushed me over the edge.

I couldn't do it.

So I walked, and walked. I didn't know where I was going, I just kept walking until my feet felt like they were raw. I finally looked up and examined where I was. The neighborhood looked familiar and I recognized it as the neighborhood before you get to Kilas. So I decided I'd just go back to her house and hope her mother was home to let me in or something.