Chapter 48

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Small steps. Amelia was staring with small steps. She was taking it day by day—one small achievement at a time. She wanted to remember her life. She wanted to remember Haymitch. Whatever bond they shared was strong, and Johanna encouraged her to get it back.

Amelia wanted to do that for her, but it still didn't fix the hole inside of her. She feared nothing would. Amelia had been through a lot in her life. She just wished she could remember it. Most of her memories were of the pain the Capitol inflicted on her while she was held hostage for eight weeks. That was all. Eight weeks. It felt like years, but it wasn't. It was two months.

Every day, Amelia could feel herself remembering more and more. They were small flashes of insignificant things, but the doctors thought it was promising. It showed them that there was a real chance she could get better. Amelia wanted to believe them, but she didn't. Nothing could fix the dull ache inside of her. She felt hollow. She felt numb.

Amelia was sure of one thing. She wanted President Snow dead. She didn't care how much she had to sacrifice to achieve that. Knowing he was dead would bring her peace of mind, or so she hoped. Truthfully, she didn't care. She wanted the pain to end. It didn't matter if she had to die to achieve that.

She kept those thoughts to herself. Amelia knew it would only worry others. Everyone seemed to be counting on her. They wanted her to get better. If she did, then that meant there was hope for Peeta. He was worse off than she was. Amelia knew she shouldn't complain. Peeta had it so much worse. Still, she felt as if she couldn't trust her own mind.

She could see the way Haymitch looked at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention. The longing and pain behind his glossy blue eyes. He wanted who she used to be back. Amelia felt sorry for him. He loved her, that much was clear, and she had no idea who he was. She wished she could remember more for him.

What she did remember was the Quarter Quell. She remembered Katniss. They were separated. Amelia should never have left her. It went against the plan. If she had stayed by her side, then none of the bad stuff would have ever happened.

Looking at Katniss was hard. Amelia knew who she was, but the early memories of their friendship were faded. They had taken off Katniss's neck brace. It seemed Peeta had tried to kill her. They twisted the memories of her inside his head.

The doctor thought being around Katniss would help Amelia. Haymitch was hopeful. It didn't work. No memories appeared in her head. It was awkward for Amelia, who had no idea what to say to the girl.

Suddenly, the door opened. Amelia jumped back. It was Gale. "Sorry," he muttered. "Prim thought of something that might help." He opened the door and the young girl walked in. In her arms was a cat. A fat orange fluffy cat.

The moment Amelia saw it, her eyes brightened. "You have a cat?"

Prim walked towards her, setting the cat on the table beside her. "Yes, his name is Buttercup."

Amelia pet the cat, a smile on her face. She liked cats. Buttercup was soft. He purred as she petted him. "Hi, Buttercup." All she can think about is how pretty that cat is. "I thought you weren't supposed to have animals here?"

"We aren't," Prim responded. "Katniss negotiated for her."

Amelia glanced at Katniss with a smile. The girl smiled back, not thinking much of it. Haymitch put a hand over his mouth, sinking into the seat. Katniss glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"Sorry," he waved his hand. "It's just the first time I've seen her genuinely smile since she's been here."

That caused Katniss to look at the scene differently. Amelia glanced at Prim. "Thank you."

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