I Love You

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LISA

"Are you sure about what your doing? You're hurting yourself, Lisa." Seulgi said.

"Ryujin is the only one i can trust when it comes to Yeji. I know anytime soon, Yeji's feelings for Ryujin will comeback." I said while i'm smiling at Seulgi.

"THEN—Gosh! Then why are you letting them have their time together? You always wanted them to have their time together? You want them to have a chance to get to know each other? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELF?" Seulgi suddenly hold my shirt and it looks like she wanted to punch my face.

Why am i doing that? I don't even know my self at all.

"Seulgi? Do you want to see Irene getting physically hurt because of you?" I asked.

"Of course i don't want—"

"Then same as me, i'm not bragging how smart i am but you need to know that i'm three steps ahead everyone of you. I'm putting the dominoes in line and once i pushed the starting point, it will fall continuously—that is what's happening right now, the danger is coming."

I'm expecting things, i'm predicting things, i wonder what's gonna comes first.

I suddenly imagined Yeji and Ryujin carrying their baby.

I cried out loud and Seulgi's watching me, she's patting my head and she keeps on telling me, "No one can stop you, that is the only thing i know but please, tell me, what are you planning to do?" She asked.

I smiled at Seulgi, "But are you sure Yeji will stop loving you? Because from what i see, she loves you more than anyone else in the world and i also heard her how she confronted Ryujin that her feelings won't come back because of you." She's biting her nails while she's saying those words.

If the time comes where i need to hold the sharp knife, i will—just to see Yeji safe.

"I will hurt Yeji, i will hurt her so bad. I want her to hate me then i will let Ryujin handle everything."

Seulgi sit besides me, "Do you really love Yeji?" She asked.

"Yes, so bad. That's why when i found someone who will take care of Yeji much better than me, i will not hesitate to give Yeji to that person." I said.

"And you thought it was Ryujin?"

"It's not just a thought, i'm sure of it."

"Why are you so selfless? You're hurting yourself." Seulgi punched my chests gently.

"It's better be selfless than be selfish."

"Stupid. You can do both as long as you know how to control it." Seulgi said.

I wiped my tears.

"Then why don't you break up with her right now?" She asked.

"I don't want yet, i still can't—" I said then i cried again.

"So, you're still waiting for danger to come and after that you'll disappear. I thought you're 3 steps ahead to us but right now, you're so stup—" I interrupted her. It triggers me hearing Seulgi says those words,

"BECAUSE I'M STILL HOLDING TO THE CHANCES THAT DANGER WILL NOT COME AND I WILL HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE WITH YEJI! BECAUSE I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I CAN'T ADMIT THE FACT THAT I WOULD DIE FOR HER!"

That's painful than i thought.

Seulgi didn't say anything, she just let me cry on her shoulder.

After a while, Yeji and Ryujin went back. Yeji was smiling at me, i really like her smile, where she's already losing her eyes. She jumped on me, "Hey? I heard that tomorrow you can discharge already. Mom said that your body is so healthy, it's accepting the vitamins and medicines so well".

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