LOVE DROUGHT [18+]

Chapter Ten

⚠️ TIGGER WARNING! ⚠️

GRAB SOME TISSUES FIRST.

Mentions: rape, suicide, unwanted pregnancy, and self-hate.

*If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It's important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time, as this may stir up difficult emotions. If it does, please reach out for support yourself.

Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

Mutism can be a tricky diagnosis to make. Sometimes the culprit is purely physical: damage to the brain and/or speech muscles can leave a person mute. Sometimes the culprit appears to be emotional or mental. Other times, you'll run into some combination of the two.

Elective Mutism: A person chooses not to speak as a result of psychological issues.

Selective Mutism: A person wants to speak, but in certain circumstances finds that they can't

Total Mutism: A person doesn't speak under any circumstance.

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"Hey.." she said stepping further into the hospital room. I stared at her as she walked over to me, sitting in the same chair everyone else sat in. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her but I couldn't get my mouth to form the sentence.

"I love you too.. I'm so sorry Jennifer. I should've been there, I should've listened to you. I failed you once again.. I wish I could go back in time and protect you. Save you. You don't deserve any of this. You've been through so much the past few years and I'm so sorry that I didn't protect you enough.. I'm suppose to make everything better. Make things easier.." tears ran down my face as she sits there crying. I reach out and grab her hand. She scoots her chair closer.

She places our foreheads together. I close my eyes, listening. Taking on her warmth.

"I love you so much Jennifer Jareau. I swear from this day forward, you have all my attention. I don't care what's going on around us, my focus is on you. I can't and won't lose you again. You are my everything and I mean that. Do you hear me? You are my world Jennifer" I make a noise in the back of my throat as I try to speak. "It's okay baby. Don't pressure yourself to speak. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. Get some rest" she presses a kiss against my forehead before standing up.

"I'm gonna go talk to the team really quick and call Henry. I'll come back okay?" I nod my head. She presses another kiss to my forehead before leaving.

I turn over and look out the window, luckily for me the stars were shinning bright tonight. There had to be a change coming soon right? This can't always be my life. Maybe we should move somewhere for a little while, get away from Virginia and DC. Let Henry explore the world. We can keep our house here and just travel. I can teach Henry myself.

I feel like I'm being punished for something. Was it because of the baby I lost? For having feelings for Emily when I was with Will? Was it because I didn't save Rosiland? I had so many things running through my head. I felt so worthless, so disgusting, so.. Useless. Emily doesn't deserve everything she's been through with me. She's a saint for sticking around.

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After I leave Jennifer's room. I quickly make my way outside, past the team. I need some time alone. I felt like I was suffocating in the hospital. It was all too much.

Before I saw Jennifer, her doctor let me read over her chart. The injuries she had were absolutely horrible, mostly were vaginal abuse. They told us to watch for signs of pregnancy, for bleeding, or anything else that comes along with being kidnapped and raped for days on end. She had two broken ribs and a slight concussion.

The worst part about this all is that she can't talk. Her doctor said she went mute which Tara already figured out. They said it could either be temporary or permanent.

I leaned my hands against the railing, looking over the edge. I stared down at the parking lot. Thoughts of suicide running through my head. I went to lift my foot up when a hand stopped me.

"Think about Jennifer and Henry Emily.." I bowed my head as tears ran down my face. I felt like a failure to the both of them.

"You can't leave her right now Emily and you know that."

"I don't know what to do Dave.. I failed her, again. I didn't listen to her, I brushed it off. It's my fault she's laying in there Rossi!"

"Emily it's no-"

"It is! She wanted me to take her to work because she said she wasn't comfortable driving alone.. She felt as if she was being watched but I shrugged her away and told her that she was being silly.. It was my fault Dave!" He pulls me into a hug as I sob loudly.

"She doesn't blame you Emily okay? She doesn't. It's nobody's fault but the person that did this. We are going to be here every step of the way. We are family. You guys are not alone and don't ever think that you are." We stood there for a good 20 minutes until I pulled away. I wiped my face. "I love you Emily. You're like the daughter I wish I had. You're intelligent, wise, funny, and the best friend, mother, wife, and agent I've ever came across. Don't ever sell yourself short. Jennifer needs you more than ever right now."

"Okay.. Thank you Dave. You're the best dad this team could ask for. I love you" he pulls me into another hug before we head back instead to the team. I talk with them for a little bit until they head out. I take a deep breath and make my way back to Jennifer's room.

She's sound asleep, curled into herself once I get back to her room. I make my way over to the chair that's in the corner and take a seat. I play with the chain she got me as I watched over her. I didn't want to fall asleep incase this was a dream I was inside of. I wanted to be here for every single moment.

I wanted to hear her sweet voice once again. I wanted her to tell me everything that was going on inside of her head. I wanted to hear her say I love you. I wanted my wife back.

I didn't go to sleep until about 3 in the morning. And even then it wasn't a deep sleep. I kept waking up to the sounds of Jennifer moving around. I know it must be scary for her not being able to scream or cry for help.

It's time for a change now..

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THAT BASTARD BETTER NOT HAVE GOTTEN JJ PREGNANT WTF.

Also, can we just.. This chapter made me cry. And I'm sorry if you did too.

But, we are coming to end with this book pretty sure. Maybe about 5 more chapters, if that. Stay tuned 😘