saudade | s.j.

six

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You wake up in a better mood than you have been in the past few days. The only thing on your mind is your coffee date with Lizzie. Well, she didn't say it was a date but you can't find another word for it so that is how you classify it; at least in your head. As Y/N gets ready she tries to remember not to take Lizzie's caring nature for attraction, that would make it awkward. You hop out of the shower and start to get ready when your phone starts ringing. It is a facetime call and the top reads- Scarlett.

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Y/N's POV

What the hell is she face timing me for? I hesitate before clicking the red button and continue getting ready. Once I finish, I head downstairs and grab my keys, right before I set the alarm my doorbell rings. I groan out, "What the hell is it now?"

I swing the door open and my frown disappears as I'm met with Lizzie's bright smile.

"Hi love, I hope you don't mind, Robert gave me your address and code because I thought it would be nice to pick you up." My cheeks go red as she brings me into a hug, she smells like lilac and vanilla.

"That man has to stop giving out my information. But for you it's okay. This is so sweet." I smile and thank her for coming to get me. We walk to the car and I get into the passenger side.

Lizzie starts the car and turns up her music Come As You Are by Nirvana is playing softly as she pulls off. I start nodding my head to the music until my attention is drawn when Lizzie turns it down. "How are you feeling?" I roll my eyes at the simple yet complicated question of the day.

I mean, I didn't go to bed crying last night but she still lingers in the back of my mind 24/7. So, how am I feeling?

"I'm fine." Hopefully, she believes my attempt to blow off this conversation. I shift in my seat and start to fidget with the rings on my fingers.

"Try again. I'm not that easy to persuade." Lizzie's determination to figure out my emotions is starting to show. I notice how her eyebrows are twisting in thought on her face as she taps the steering wheel with impatience.

"Elizabeth. I'm not trying to persuade you. I am fine. My mood has been better since our first interaction." She nods slowly while contemplating whether or not to believe me.

"That's saying something, especially since you almost knocked me dead with a door." I jokingly remind her of how we met. She covers her mouth as she laughs and hits my thigh.

"That was funny, but don't think this changes my question. You're not telling me everything. I saw it in your eyes when you opened the door." Lizzie briefly looks over at me, placing her hand on my thigh. My eyes grow wide with surprise from this new display of affection. I decide to relax and go along with it. It's not like she's making me uncomfortable; I enjoy this.

"Well, I just feel like no matter how much I try to distance myself from her...she always finds a way to be part of my day." I sigh and look down at my hands before continuing.

"I've been trying hard to not let other people's emotions dictate how I will spend my day. It's hard though. Also, I miss her daughter so much. That kid made my day better in so many ways it's crazy. I get these intrusive thoughts that cloud my mind about her. I left without saying goodbye, she'll hate me." I slap my hands into my face trying to hide the look of sadness I have.

Lizzie grabs one of my hands and holds it close to her. "It's okay to feel like this." She kisses my knuckles and rests our hands on the console. Assuming she'd want me to let go of her hand, I try to wiggle my hand away, but she grasps it tighter, rubbing her thumb across my hand. I smile at our hands and relax into my seat. I pull my phone out and snap a picture of our hands.

We finally arrive at the coffee shop and Lizzie hands me sunglasses before stepping out of the car. To our surprise, the paparazzi haven't found out where she is yet so we are in the clear. Lizzie links her arm in mine and we walk inside and ask for a seat upstairs on the patio. Thankfully, December in LA is still nice. We both sit in a comfortable silence as we look at the menu. After we've both decided what we want, I wave over to a waiter.

"Good Morning! My name is Jorge, welcome to Ben's Coffee, what can I get for you beautiful ladies today?"

I look at Lizzie and nudge her to give her order first. She glares at me with a smirk on her face before giving her an order. "I'll have a raspberry green tea smoothie and a veggie wrap with no mayo please." She smiles at Jorge before he turns his attention to me.

"Can I please get the mango passionfruit black tea with lemon and a chicken panini with no capers? Thank you." Jorge nods as he finishes writing down my order. I smile and hand Lizzie and my menus up to him.

"I'll get those orders right out for you two." He smiles and walks back inside.

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Lizzie's POV

I look back over at Y/N who is zoned out watching the LA streets start to fill up with traffic. The sun hits her face perfectly as it rises over the skyline. I quietly pull my phone out and snap a photo of her, but my camera sound goes off and she catches me.

"Lizzie! I look a mess right now, delete it!" Y/N hides her face from me and shakes her head out of embarrassment. I laugh and pull her hands away from her face. A faint smile appears on her face as I flip the phone to show her the photo. Her dimples start to show and it is the cutest thing ever.

"You know you're really cute when you smile Y/LN," I state, feeling an overwhelming sense of confidence all of a sudden.

"Only when I smile Olsen? Well then..." She dramatically gasps and pretends to clutch her imaginary pearls. I giggle and shake my head at her actions.

"No not only when you smile, it just heightens your cuteness when you do smile. But I gotta say, the serious stoic look works too. Very James Bond of you." She smirks at my joke and before we can continue Jorge interrupts with our food.

After he sets it down and leaves again we both dig in. I put my wrap down and decide to spark up a new conversation.

"So what did you do during all that time after quitting acting?" I question as I take a sip of my smoothie. Y/N wipes her hands off and finishes chewing her food before answering.

"Well, I went to college for three years on a lacrosse scholarship. Stanford. Then I got recruited to play for the New York Riptide where I became the first woman to play in a male league. That's pretty cool I guess. Robert who happens to be my godfather, moved me out here after my parents moved to Australia. He didn't want me alone even though I was grown and retired." My jaw hangs open as she takes a sip of her smoothie.

"You've done a lot Y/N, jeez. If you don't mind me asking, why did you retire?"

"It was my last season in New York. I planned on moving to a new team in California because I was being harassed by team members, when I came out and exposed them for their treatment no team made a statement in support of me. I decided it would be better of me to retire and so that's what I did." I must've struck a nerve. She looks down at the food sadly and sips her tea. I reach across the table and grab her hand giving her a sorrowful look.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's okay Lizzie. I'm here now and I'm starting to do something else I love again."

"Does that mean you'll come back and work for Marvel?" I look with pleading eyes hoping for a positive answer. "Please for me," I add on.

I can see her fall into a space of thought as she thinks about returning. I feel her squeeze my hand and her leg starts to bounce. After about five minutes she clears her throat. I look in anticipation for her answer. I frown as she lets go of my hand and straightens up in her seat. Looking from the outside, you'd think we were having a starring contest.

"Christ Y/N, please say something! The silence is killing me!" I try hard to sound serious but I tremendously fail. Y/N huffs out and rolls her eyes at me before opening her mouth to speak...

"Ok, Lizzie. I've decided to..."

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Oop. What's going to happen? Ok, I think we all know but I like the cliffhangers. Plus, I'm at like 1600 words so...