Generation Antihero 2

Admitting weaknesses

Worried Shota sat down beside Koi: "Otōto... Please stop looking so sad... That hurts me as your big brother. I thought after what happened in sixth grade it couldn't get worse. Especially since we'd only get older. But I can feel that there's something very wrong with you". He just shrugged: "I'm simply hurt. What am I supposed to say? Do? You're right, it hasn't been that bad since sixth grade". -"Your world got turned upside down. You even had to repeat the whole grade. Because of a girl. Do you want to go through that again?". -"I'm already doing that. I was put into third rank. Do you know what that means? If I want to talk to him, then I have to wait until work ends. I'm not even the one who can search information for him. Basically I already am repeating a grade again. All that work to the top. It's no use, I can't stop anything anymore".

Shota tried to encourage him: "You were at the top in the course of a few weeks. Your personality helped you with that. You don't need to do much. You're Yasuo, my little brother. You can do anything". Instead Koi let his head down, hid his hands in his pockets and left: "I'm also only human...". The clock announced the end of work and everybody was free of any duties. At the big table sat Ilus and he sighed heavily into his hands. Henry hasn't returned yet and he felt that many were unhappy with his decision. At the corner of the table sat Shark: "You look tired". Silent Ilus shook his head. Only after a few seconds he mumbled against the table: "You should still rest because of the anesthesia". "But I'm good. Look, looks very nice", he smiled proudly. Ilus dared to peek at him. Though it was just a little less pressure, his shoulders sank in relaxation: "You'll never get me into trouble, right?". Now Shark was afraid to admit: "Vincent van Goat made shower broken". Ilus inhaled deeply to agitate, but waved off: "We still have community bathrooms".

Between all those times where multiple doors opened and shut, Ilus smelled Henry's perfume again. Shook Shark jumped up and asked quick-tempered: "Teddy, what happened?!". Also Ilus gazed over to him and his jaw dropped at the look of an black eye. Henry played it cool: "I had an unfortunate encounter with The Order of the Polar Fox. Accidentially found their hideout". Afraid Ilus stood up and grabbed Henry by his shoulders: "Did they hurt you? Are you alright? Did they threaten you?". "No, but it would be great if you'd show this amount of care for the others here too", he pushed his hands away and turned to Shark, "I knew that the light green eye would look amazing with your dark brown one. It suits you". Blushing Shark simpered: "Thank you, Teddy". Henry walked towards the kitchen: "You wanna eat something together?". He followed him and Ilus was left there.

~~~

Ilus sat on the railing at the harbour and stared into the water. The sunrise made it light up in many colors, but all he saw was grey. Behind him he heard Whitefur: "How untypical for the white nighttiger to still be awake and on tour during daylight". "Go home", he grumbled. "Sorry, but we have to move. After all now you know where my hideout is at. You can be glad that your teddybear learned somewhere how to escape so well. Tell me, who taught him? You? Mitya surely not. He never got away", a dirty laughter followed. Ilus' breath got faster. "I've heard that Mitya is recovering in Russia from you. Apparently you had a heated argument after Iceman's death-party. And since you're not talking about it, you're deeply hurt and insulted", he kept provoking.

"I don't know where your fucking hideout is. Henry didn't tell me shit", he puffed heavily. Whitefur resumed attacking him verbally: "How bad does that have to feel? The Poljakow-brothers had a fight over whether they should stay in America or go back to their home country. Mitya took your mother as his argument and you took as an argument that you had to stay in America because of your gang - more specifically the teddy. And now they're all turning against you. Even your boyfriend". Ilus' voice started to break as he closed his eyes: "Stop it, please...". Of course Whitefur didn't stop: "Not only are you a terrible boss, to whom his workers aren't listening to anymore when they don't get their rewards. No, you're also an awful partner who can't handle to keep his boyfriend. I'm starting to know how to play my contacts. What do you think in what kind of clubs he's been at last night? Are you certain he didn't cheat on you?". "Piss off! Shut the fuck up! Leave me alone!", Ilus screamed. "I'll see you at the race", were his last words to him.

~~~

Zigz was already annoyed to the bone having to walk down an entire storey to use the bathroom. Especially when he was just in a deep slumber. Unmotivated he dragged his legs back in the corridor. There he heard weird sounds echoeing. Bewildered he walked on the crossings over the main hall and looked down. He spotted Ilus at his desk on his knees and crying like a waterfall. Hurried and wide-eyed he rushed down the last stairs. Underneath them he saw that Koi also wasn't there. Concerned Zigz came up to Ilus: "What's wrong...?". "I'm so done...!", he sobbed against the wood. Shortly Zigz thought. Him alone could've never helped Ilus out of such a phase, he was aware of that. So he ran into a side room and called Kiki. She currently was at her newly built café, but still picked up: "Jeremy, what do you want? I can't talk right now". "I think Ilus needs you", he directly said, "We may be his men, but none of us have female gentleness. I know because of work you didn't notice much of what happened here, but I guess an update is desperately needed". "If you take over my café. I can't just close down now", she argued. Right away he agreed: "I'll be there in ten minutes".

Like that they exchanged places and Kiki went straight up to her cousin: "Hey big boy, what's up?". "Why am I here...? Why am I doing all of this...? I'm just a child, why am I leading 26 men to raise money so we all can survive...? I shouldn't be in this position...", he still cried. -"Ilus, you'll turn nineteen next week. Your age doesn't even play a role. You own so much maturity. Nobody else has a better eye for people that belong in this team. In your team. Of course you're supposed to lead them on". He let all his worries out: "Mitya probably hates me. I couldn't keep him out of my business. I'm choosing a boy over him I barely know. A boy with whom I currently have major trust issues. I don't know him well enough yet to correctly estimate him. My feelings are a mess and I can't sort myself anymore. This is my team and it's falling apart because of me. I feel like we're all going seperate ways right now and we keep on distancing from each other".

"You're falling apart on the inside, that's why they are. You were praised. A paper crown was put on your glass heart and you got called the awesome Chef of the underground. You're under pressure and have to tell it to your boys. If one thing is absolutely certain and understandable in your team, then it's the human traits everyone has here. Surely it would be better for the others to know that you too have your boundaries", she put her hand on his arm. He didn't answer anymore. "I know, your stubborn head doesn't want that", she smiled lightly and stroke down. At his hand she noticed: "Where is your ring?". "Threw it into the harbour water...!", he hissed frantically. Startled she looked at him: "Ilus...". His trembling worsened: "Koi saw it... He was there... Hand in hand with Bambi...!". Now Kiki couldn't keep up anymore. Ilus showed all of his frustration: "He's betraying us...! One of my best friends...! I only wanted the best for all of us and I'm making it worse with all of my decision...! I'm not the supreme Poljakow...! I'm a failed leading position...!".