Changeling Witch

(S2) Bounty Hunters

Hunter carefully set down the bottle that contained the so-called "monster" that he and King had recently captured on his bedside table. Garlog had turned out to be an incredibly tiny goat thing, and instead of an epic fight, Hunter had wound up chasing King around trying to get him to spit it out.

Just as well. After what had happened ten days ago, Hunter wasn't too interested in an epic fight.

He propped his phone up against the bottle and pressed play.

"Hola, mama!" Hunter said, waving to the camera. "You haven't heard from me in a while. It's been a week and a half since the petrification ceremony... aka a week and a half since I... destroyed the portal home." He let out a nervous laugh, then sobered up. "Okay, I know you're getting all judgemental now, but I had to. Emperor Belos was gonna kill Eda if I didn't hand it over, but I couldn't let the old fuckweed use it, so... I blew it up with some magic fire!"

Hunter did jazz hands, then let out a groan, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ah, she's not gonna understand any of this. But that's okay. Just gotta keep moving forward, and hopefully, I'll start to make sense."

He took a breath, then smiled at the camera. "This world is filled with incredible magic and insane stuff---like this portal key!" He held it up. "I don't know whether or not it has magic in it, but I'm gonna study all I can, and I'm gonna find a way back to you. And look!" He lifted his leg, revealing that King was clinging tightly to it. "I got friends to help me out!"

"I'm never letting you go!" King shrieked. "You're never returning to the human realm!"

"Uh, he doesn't mean that."

"YES I DO!"

Hunter picked up the camera, shook King off, and headed downstairs into the kitchen, where Eda was attempting to use her practically nonexistent magic to pour herself some apple blood.

"This is Eda the Owl Lady," he narrated. "The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles---"

The jug of apple blood exploded all over her.

"Or at least she was," Hunter amended. "She's got a curse, and it kinda overpowered her and weakened her magic. She's doing her best now."

He went back upstairs to where Lilith was staying, trying to be as quiet as he could. Lilith had taken to throwing something at him whenever he went into her room.

"Eda was cursed by her own sister, Lilith," he stage-whispered, pointing his camera at the lady herself, decked out in a new outfit consisting of a torn black skirt and a shirt with a low-battery symbol on it. "She spent her whole life trying to undo it. We're still kinda walking on eggshells, but fingers crossed that it'll get easier. I think she's definitely starting to warm up to us."

Hooty stuck his head into the window. "Hello!"

Lilith let out a shriek and slammed the window in his face.

"Or not." Hunter moved back downstairs as quickly as he could, going outside once he noticed that Eda was there.

"Check it out, Hunter!" she called, lifting up what looked like a cross between a net and a harpoon. "A new hunting weapon! I shall call her 'the Stab-Catcher!'"

"Eda's finding new ways to make up for her lost powers," Hunter explained to the camera. "Since we don't have the portal, she doesn't have any human garbage to sell, either, so we've been taking on some odd jobs to keep food on the table."

He zoomed in as Eda threw the new weapon right into a target that was set above King's head.

"This week, we're bounty hunters!" he said cheerfully. "And next week, who knows? We could be anything."