Changeling Witch

(S2) Golden Goon

"Heya, criminals!" the Golden Guard sang, setting the birdcage down and applauding. "It's so nice to see that you guys have decided to completely disregard Emperor Belos's unofficial pardon of you. Totally. Hats off to you." She leaned in. "Seriously, though, just between you and me? I'd be really impressed if it meant you weren't constantly breaking the law. But none of you guys need to get hurt---if you just do what I say."

Hunter scoffed. "Uh-huh, and why exactly would we do that?"

"Gee, lemme think..." The Golden Guard gasped and clapped her hands. "Oh, yeah! Neither of you can use real magic, so you don't have a choice!"

"You don't know that!" Eda snapped.

"Well, I do know that you're standing on a plant that eats flesh, so."

Eda and Hunter looked down, yelped, and leaped off the plant, jumping from foot to foot.

The Golden Guard let out a giggle that sounded less like a menacing cackle and more like a little girl excited about her birthday party. "Okay, you two, here's how this is gonna go. The human will remain a sailor to repay all that money he lost, while the Owl Lady will be arrested for..." She counted on her fingers. "The third time in the past few months---for the crime of attacking one of the Emperor's ships, of course."

Hunter looked up at Eda in confusion. "Emperor's ship?"

"They're the only ones worth robbing." Eda stabbed a finger at the Golden Guard. "Enough talk! Why are you guys hunting the Selkidomus? It's a peaceful creature, and you're provoking it!"

She shrugged. "Bels ordered me to slay one. I'm just following orders."

"Bels?" Hunter questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Eda ripped off one of her arms. "Well, I'm just gonna smack you around a bit!" She lunged at the Golden Guard, who neatly dodged every single one of her attacks until Eda fell flat on her face.

"Leave her alone!" Hunter blasted a couple fire glyphs at her, neither of them hitting their mark. She swirled her staff and blew sand into his face, sending him backwards.

"Hmm. How about..." The Golden Guard surrounded the patch of sand they were on with a red energy. "I leave you two criminals dangling above the Boiling SEA!"

Hunter instinctively grabbed onto Eda's arm as the Golden Guard did just that.

"Around these parts, just the steam's enough to cause third-degree burns," she said casually. "I normally wouldn't have snuck through something that required that many protection spells, but I'm a sucker for the dramatic."

She waved her staff again, sending Hunter and Eda back onto the beach. "I really don't wanna be that mean, though. Y'see, despite what Bels says, I'm not a huge fan of killing things that don't totally and completely deserve it."

"Your boss totally and completely deserves it," Hunter muttered.

"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that." The Golden Guard dusted off one of her gloves. "Anyways, nobody's gonna have to become a sailor or get arrested, if one of you follows those Selkidomus tracks---" She pointed to the tracks leading into a shadowy-looking cave--- "and slays the beast for me. You guys get off the hook, and I get my mission done without getting my hands dirty! Win-win, amirite? I might even give you guys a little cash in return---heard you're a bit down in the dumps right now." She let out a little squeal. "Doesn't that sound fun?"

Hunter decided that this girl had officially replaced Belos as his sworn enemy.

"Here, I'll help!" she said cheerily, summoning a sword out of what looked like muscle. It looked like a perfectly normal sword when it landed on the beach, but that didn't change the fact that everyone knew what it was made of.